Review of Facade

Facade (1999)
Tennis With Bullets.
17 November 2000
It's a pity that a cache-load of post-noir crime efforts set their sights no higher than claims of a tradition shared by RESERVOIR DOGS, PULP FICTION and whatever else oozed from the pen of Tarantino. Thankfully, FACADE is much better than all that. Opening Moments: young woman, seemingly with large bug up backside, attempts to react to a murder, followed by credit tune that sounds as if lifted from some long-dead '70s cop drama. The Plot?? Well, anything more complex than a group of teens gathered at Camp Crystal Lake has yours truly scratching head. What I can report is - torpedo breasts, a genuinely arousing sex scene (you'll know it when you see it...), anti-racist rant made inaudible via Boeing noise, poolside wake hosted by asylum escapee priest who performs '60s hippie anthem, sushi dropped on suited stiff in funeral parlour during inspired marital infidelity speech, playing tennis with bullets...in fact, a whole smorgasbord of nice little touches that show Colpaert really cares - awwwwwww. Best Line(s): Hitperson One: "What's That Smell?" Hitperson Two: "It's Us..." Nun's Armpit: 9/10.
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