1/10
Charity Project means no Payback for Audience
9 September 2001
Since I used to know some of the people involved with this film, I decided not to review it professionally. After finally seeing it, I can hardly resist the urge to comment on it as a private moviegoer/renter - especially in the light of the dubious raves being published here. Yes, "Venus and Mars" is THAT bad! Not only that it's a bad film, it's also a waste of money, time and talent: Lynn Redgrave was delightfully funny - let's make this peculiar -in "Gods and Monsters". Ryan Hurst was great in "Remember the Titans". I just love "Dark Angel" - and not just because the spunky charm and great looks of Jessica Alba, but also because of Michael Weatherly, whose brilliant, low-key performance single-handedly provides a counter-balance to the series' outrageously futuristic plot. Why all these great actors (and some others in the cast) didn't chose to act, would even puzzle Melville's Bartleby. Let Variety proclaim that the announced Actors Strike was narrowly avoided - I'd say that it did happen indeed: and it happened during the shooting of this film. But then again, why should they have put any effort into this cheesy train wreck of a romantic comedy: the plot is somewhat appealing in its naiveté - four girlfriends return to their German hometown to mourn the death of their soccer-coach - but it's the kind of 'nice' idea that needs great dialogue, perfect execution, charming ambiance and romantic spirit to come to fruition. Needless to say, all of this is lacking in "Venus and Mars". The dialogues don't just border on the ridiculous - it's fair to say that it's miles south of the border, let alone the equator. The pacing is uneven. Continuity in the case of this film only means that the celluloid does not tear. And when all girls find their perfect guy in the end (no spoiler, that's what we expect from a romantic comedy), the audience does not swoon, but is bound to groan loudly. There is the name of a director in the credits - but somehow I doubt he exists. If he does, I would not even let him direct cart-traffic on a golf-course, because of the legal ramifications, let alone the bloodshed. He might have said "action" and "cut" during the filming, but so does a parrot. As for the leading lady Daniela Lunkewitz, I do have to surmise that she is no Meg Ryan - or Jeri Ryan, for that matter. "Venus and Mars" is the kind of romantic-comedy nobody needs - and I'll have to take my hat off to the investors and the unsuspecting patrons who bought a ticket. Charity is rare these days - but I'd like to suggest that there are causes out there far more worthy of your 8 bucks or the few millions that were pumped into this little endeavor.
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