The Brotherhood (2001 Video)
2/10
Empty homoerotic fluff disguised as horror.
20 June 2002
No, this is not Male Model University, but judging by the student body you need to look like one to attend. It's apparent you need a muscular physique, perfectly gelled hair and tight leather duds just to take a stroll around campus. At parties, name drop Nietzsche and make sure you wear a fine suit and tie so you have something nice to puke all over. Never button up your top three buttons, hang out in juvenile high schoolish cliques and always wear shades. No, this thing isn't set on Mars, but close enough: it's set in the minds of horny skeezers David DeCoteau and scripter Matthew Jason Walsh, so any resemblance between this and any real college campus is strictly coincidental.

Oh yeah, the so-called plot... Hunky freshman stud-ent Christopher Chandler (Nathan Watkins) is anti-frat, but still wooed by the most popular house on campus. I mean, aren't Devon, Barry, Jordan and Mikhael the type of dudes everyone wants to hang with? No, not really. They're conceited, shallow, boring, and stupid, they throw lame parties and they drink blood to stay young and desirable. Go figure.

DeCoteau began his career exploiting the bods of B-babes like Linnea Quigley and Brinke Stevens and now he's switched to men's bodies, which is completely fair in our more enlightened age. Men deserve to be treated like meat, too, but it's too bad these talent-dry bonehead boy toys ACT like meat. You'd be hard pressed to find more lifeless, listless performances (particularly Bradley Stryker as the main bad guy) but hell, they DO look great in their matching boxer briefs. Save yourself the time and skim through a Calvin Klein catalogue instead. And this thing merits a pair of sequels?!
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