Mariah has Glitter. The Village People have Can't Stop the Music. Britney Spears has Crossroads. Jennifer Lopez has The Wedding Planner, Enough, Gigli...you get the idea. I think it's become an inescapable law of physics that when any singer decides that they have the chops to become an actor, what results is an evil hybrid of inflated egos and Satanic afterbirth. Want more proof? Presenting On The Line, starring both Lance Bass and Joey Fatone. This is one of the most ridiculous movies I've ever seen, mostly because it assumes that these two boy band rejects can act in front of a camera. Joey's actually supposed to be a decent thespian, but you would have no idea just from watching this piece of filth. He just comes off as loud, annoying, and patently stupid. As for Bass, while a cute guy, he's not exactly Lawrence Olivier. He just looks uncomfortable throughout the entire film and it made me feel likewise. Then there's the incomprehensible story, which defies common sense and the idea that God loves his children. Yeah, the entire city just STOPS to read about pathetic Lance and his search for a girl he barely talked to for less then five minutes. And why is his story on the front page of every newspaper? Is it a slow news day EVERY DAY in this city??? I laughed out loud when the front page of one paper featured a huge color photo of Lance and his gal and at the bottom was a much smaller headline about the economy. Yeah, that's realistic. Oh, why am I even wasting my breath? This movie sucks hard, and no one should watch it unless they enjoy getting their brains damaged. 0/4 stars (P.S. Dave Foley, what are you doing here?!?!?! You were on Kids in the Hall, for God's sake!).
Review of On the Line
