Brother Bear (2003)
Don't fish have feelings? If not, why should we care about Nemo?
20 September 2004
Since I've moved back home for the foreseeable future I've heard Phil Collins nearly every day. Why is that? Why does "In the Air Tonight" seem to have some permanent hold on the Philly metro region? I swear I've heard this unofficial them to RISKY BUSINESS at least a half-dozen times on the radio since I've been back. I'm not complaining, since Philly radio is far superior to the tuneless sludge NYC puts out on its FM stations.

I never planned on ever seeing BROTHER BEAR, but nannying a two-year-old Disney disciple brought me to it. (Noah is a boy who is programmed to slur "Disney!" every time that logo appears on TV. Yeah, someone try to convince me the Mouse House isn't evil.) So, anyway, Noah is transfixed anytime a Pooh video is played, but after a week or so of constant Eeyore and Tigger and Piglet (which is too much for any sane adult to bear), I popped in, Lord forgive me, a recent Disney animated feature.

I braced myself, but had no idea that Phil Collins contributed the majority of pop tracks. Slyly too, since the first voice I recognized on the soundtrack was Tina Turner - I sign of salvation that, alas, proved to be premature. What was Collins thinking? Anything besides the fat paycheck? Didn't Matt and Trey have the final word after the TARZAN/SOUTH PARK Oscar deathmatch? Sure, Phil received the award, but I know I'm not the only one who feels "Blame Canada" deserved it.

Okay, I'm babbling. Back to BROTHER BEAR. Not really much to say about it except my predictable nitpicking. Like, let me see if I've got this straight: All animals but Man speak the same language? Bears understand what geese are saying, but Man understands neither?

And the other big question: We're asked to sympathize with bears and other creatures of the forest, but bears have free reign over fish? Don't beings with fins have any say in this world?

Yeah, these comments are random, shallow and incomplete. But, hey, isn't that an honest description of BROTHER BEAR?
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