Of all the movies that have been based on Marvel characters these past couple of years, The Punisher is easily the worst. Sure, The Hulk was bad, too, but at least it wasn't as boring as this forgettable piece of junk. It seemed like the movie took forever and a day to actually set up the character of The Punisher, and when we finally get to hear Frank Castle refer to himself as the title character it doesn't matter because the movie is over anyway. Oh, well! Where's the exit?
The reason I said this movie reminded me of a hardcore episode of the now defunct sitcom Becker is because it actually plays out as such in a lot of scenes. Just replace Ted Danson with Frank Castle and you have the exact same gruff, antisocial fellah trying to get along with all of his wacky neighbors who want to cheer him up. Ugh, and these neighbors are so over-the-top and silly it's lamentable. Bumpo (yes, they call him Bumpo and don't ask me why because I'm not a witty Hollywood executive) is the fat guy who likes to eat a lot, while Danny's only obvious personality trait is his multiple peircings.
I hated how a lot of this movie was played for laughs, not just with the neighbors themselves but a certain fight scene between Frank and a Russian who's simply referred to as The Russian (give me a break). This guy wears a red and white striped shirt which makes him look like Bluto from the Popeye cartoon, and during the whole fight opera music is being played in Bumpo's apartment. * See, the movie is making the comparison of sophisticated opera music to the gritty, unsophisticated nature of the fight, thus causing us to laugh.
* I'm being smarmy.
And while I rarely point how a movie's score, The Punisher has such a terrible one that I simply must say something. Almost none of the music works, including the idiotic high noon theme played whenever Frank is doing something violent or is facing a new opponent. Also, who the heck approved the generic Evil Music which plays during most of John Travolta's scenes? You know the kind: Dah dah dun DAHHH! It's very dramatic and cheesy, like something you'd hear at the cliffhanger of every old Batman episode.
Speaking of Travolta, he proves once again here that he has no business playing a villain of any sort. While he's not nearly as campy as his alien role in Battlefield Earth, he certainly comes close, gnashing his teeth together and bulging his eyes out at every turn. "Remember, I've got more guns than you!" he says with utter seriousness, as if that line could ever be pulled off well. John, take my humble advice and stick to making a few dozen more Look Who's Talking movies.
And as if that weren't enough to make me blow raspberries at this movie, The Punisher has one of the worst endings of any movie I've seen, in that it's so anticlimactic no one would could feel satisfied. Frank is supposed to be up against this giant mob force which can supposedly take down anything and anyone, but all he has to do is slip past an unarmed gate and he pretty much takes down the entire syndicate. And how does Travolta get axed? Not in a cool villain way, no, but whining and wailing like a girl. Yeah, great ending movie! Now can I have my eight bucks back?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't The Punisher supposed to be this insane force of hatred who uses any means necessary to take down those who do wrong? Then why the heck does he spend his time placing fake fire hydrants next to the car of John Travolta's wife in the movie so she'll get parking tickets?! Should we call him The Prankster now??? I can't go on anymore. Just forget this movie ever existed and move on with your lives! 1/4 stars
The reason I said this movie reminded me of a hardcore episode of the now defunct sitcom Becker is because it actually plays out as such in a lot of scenes. Just replace Ted Danson with Frank Castle and you have the exact same gruff, antisocial fellah trying to get along with all of his wacky neighbors who want to cheer him up. Ugh, and these neighbors are so over-the-top and silly it's lamentable. Bumpo (yes, they call him Bumpo and don't ask me why because I'm not a witty Hollywood executive) is the fat guy who likes to eat a lot, while Danny's only obvious personality trait is his multiple peircings.
I hated how a lot of this movie was played for laughs, not just with the neighbors themselves but a certain fight scene between Frank and a Russian who's simply referred to as The Russian (give me a break). This guy wears a red and white striped shirt which makes him look like Bluto from the Popeye cartoon, and during the whole fight opera music is being played in Bumpo's apartment. * See, the movie is making the comparison of sophisticated opera music to the gritty, unsophisticated nature of the fight, thus causing us to laugh.
* I'm being smarmy.
And while I rarely point how a movie's score, The Punisher has such a terrible one that I simply must say something. Almost none of the music works, including the idiotic high noon theme played whenever Frank is doing something violent or is facing a new opponent. Also, who the heck approved the generic Evil Music which plays during most of John Travolta's scenes? You know the kind: Dah dah dun DAHHH! It's very dramatic and cheesy, like something you'd hear at the cliffhanger of every old Batman episode.
Speaking of Travolta, he proves once again here that he has no business playing a villain of any sort. While he's not nearly as campy as his alien role in Battlefield Earth, he certainly comes close, gnashing his teeth together and bulging his eyes out at every turn. "Remember, I've got more guns than you!" he says with utter seriousness, as if that line could ever be pulled off well. John, take my humble advice and stick to making a few dozen more Look Who's Talking movies.
And as if that weren't enough to make me blow raspberries at this movie, The Punisher has one of the worst endings of any movie I've seen, in that it's so anticlimactic no one would could feel satisfied. Frank is supposed to be up against this giant mob force which can supposedly take down anything and anyone, but all he has to do is slip past an unarmed gate and he pretty much takes down the entire syndicate. And how does Travolta get axed? Not in a cool villain way, no, but whining and wailing like a girl. Yeah, great ending movie! Now can I have my eight bucks back?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't The Punisher supposed to be this insane force of hatred who uses any means necessary to take down those who do wrong? Then why the heck does he spend his time placing fake fire hydrants next to the car of John Travolta's wife in the movie so she'll get parking tickets?! Should we call him The Prankster now??? I can't go on anymore. Just forget this movie ever existed and move on with your lives! 1/4 stars