The Barber (2002)
2/10
Avoid this crap
24 November 2004
Warning: Spoilers
This is one of the worst films I have ever seen. Unfortunately it is not even bad in a funny way, just plain bad. But interestingly it was so bad that I felt compelled to try and find out why exactly I found it so displeasing.

The setting -- little Alaskan village swallowed by long dark winter -- is very moody, and would give nice background to a movie. Also, rather nameless Jeremy Ratchford serves a surprisingly solid performance as the artless police chief. However, both of these achievements are completely wasted in this nadir of Malcolm McDowell's eventful career.

As there are definitely no deeper levels to this movie, I presume that this is supposed to be a study of absolute evil, journey into the dark side of human mind, portrait of a psychopath... Which could still be put together in various competent ways, despite being quite a tired idea. One could make a decent horror flick, for example -- but there are no horror elements in this film; no gore-fest, nothing shocking, no scenes that would fill you with fear or suspense.

One could also weave a thrilling whodunit, with vivid characters and clever plot twists -- but there are no believable characters, there is no-one you would like or care a bit for, nor is there much logic to any of the characters' actions (or anything else, for that matter; in fact most things in this movie are wildly illogical, if you somehow manage to pay attention and still keep on watching).

With the inconceivable storyline and silly, sketchy characters one could still accomplish a refreshingly different looney-on-the-loose movie by adding either black humour or sheer slapstick to the mix. Alas, there are no jokes, no humour of any color, not even good one-liners here.

What you do have is recklessly overacting Malcolm McDowell, wooden Garwin Sanford who seems to think he is in a comedy, and a whole set of goofily portrayed Alaskan variety hillbillies. This added to a completely pointless script and more logic mismatches and continuity problems than in Plan 9 From Outer Space amounts pretty much to nothing.

...SPOILERS AHEAD... The only thing this movie has going for itself is the way the story is told, how the viewer is led to believe s/he knows the truth from the very beginning. Now I must admit that I am not too fond of films with umpteen plot twists in the end, and having no plot twist is kind of a plot twist in itself, only in this case it does feel like an anticlimax instead of a touch of genius. The only amusement there is to get from this movie is pondering "can this really be all there is to this movie?" Sadly, the answer is yes.
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