Windy City Heat (2003 TV Movie)
1/10
Terribly unfunny, unless you're a total ***hole
5 December 2004
Warning: Spoilers
You know, I hate to have to reduce my criticism of a movie into the simple phrase, "It's mean." But "Windy City Heat" is so terrible that I really can't find a better way to describe it. It's mean, and it's a bad movie because it is mean.

As you probably know already, the plot revolves around Perry Caravello, a struggling actor (and an unlikeable personality) who desperately wants to be a celebrity. A couple of his "friends" devise a scheme to make him think he's part of a big-budget action movie and they film the results as Perry continues to swallow all the lies he's fed.

The movie is supposed to be funny because it's an impressive prank that's being pulled on an incredibly stupid, gullible, and unlikeable person.

Instead, it's incredibly unfunny and depressing because it's a malicious prank. "Windy City Heat" could only be less funny if the premise was that two guys kidnapped Perry's wife and made him think that she was dead for 11 years, then constantly filmed him while setting him up on "dates" with cross-dressers.

Perry isn't a likable person, but that doesn't excuse what the movie does. What they've done is taken a man's dream, strung him along for eleven years while building up false expectations, and then played them up for cheap (and I mean REALLY CHEAP) laughs. You'd think that if they were going to be such jerks, they might try to come up with something funny to do to him---but instead, all they can come up with is sixth-grade, juvenile humor. Like putting him in a room with an over-the-top gay stereotype, or pretending that they're going to dump feces on him.

There's really only one group of people who could possible think this movie is funny: total ***holes. If you yourself are a complete jerk, then maybe you'll laugh at this. If you think something as stupid and annoying as "Crank Yankers" is funny, then you'll probably like this.

But if you are even remotely human, then you'll probably just end up feeling depressed at the idea of this movie. Whether the movie is real or not doesn't change its badness---even if Perry was in on the joke for the whole movie, the concept of torturing a guy like this is simply not funny.

If you want to know whether or not you'll think this movie is funny, think about this premise: A man dying of AIDS is told by his brother and father that he will be cured if he spends the next two weeks letting people sodomize him with broomsticks on camera. If you think that idea sounds like it would be hilarious, then by all means watch "Windy City Heat." But if you think it sounds cruel, disgusting, and just plain stupid, then stay away from this movie. And congratulations on not being a cynical, mean-spirited jerk.
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