2/10
Moby-Dick it's not....
19 February 2005
Few films can be considered flawless but many survive their weaknesses by overcoming them in other departments. "The White Buffalo" is ultimately a very poor film because of a perfect storm of mediocrity that pervades most of its principal departments, flooding so many bulkheads that there is no possibility of keeping the movie afloat. If it has any saving graces, they are very small crumbs of comfort – some good scenery, a decent job by the wardrobe department and a no-expense-spared cast, although most of the supporting talent is wasted on short cameos not worth their time and effort.

The story, such as it is, brings Wild Bill Hickok back to the west to search out and confront the mythic white buffalo of his nightmares. Hickok in reality was a tragic character, but Bronson can't do tragic, and so the film is lost almost from the get-go. He can do pistol-packing, and soon he's involved in badly-staged shootouts and a short love-interest scene with Kim Novak. Despite second billing status, it takes too long for Jack Warden to be brought into the story and when he does arrive, he turns in an uncharacteristically flat performance. With his woolly white wig and beard and his glass eye, he could have been the buffalo. His character, a racist old buzzard, is unappealing but there can be no doubt that such characters existed in those times. The two set off to track Hickok's nemesis, meeting and teaming up with a Native American along the way, not immediately realizing he is Crazy Horse.

At times the movie appears to be filmed through onion soup, at others a dense fog – and that's just the indoors scenes. While the script has some lines that sound authentic, others are vaguely banal or downright cryptic, and the cast doesn't help by often delivering them in an incomprehensible manner. The sound quality fluctuates between aiding and abetting the muffled dialogue and deafening the audience with overloud gunshots. The direction is haphazardly chaotic, and that is being polite.

Piled on top of the film's other many flaws, the final indignity is the buffalo itself. Resembling a bedraggled, malnourished Muppet, its first on-screen appearance is a close-up of the face, which looks very much like the current logo of the Buffalo Sabres. When the beast is in full rampage, the over-the-top vocal effects are not dissimilar to the foghorn that sounds when the Sabres – or any other NHL team – score. There is nothing in the beast's appearance or manner that inspires fear in the audience, and its motion resembles a harmless carousel horse rather than a marauding wild animal.

The collective failings really don't make this film worth the time, and it can't even be saved by being so bad that it's good. The plot could be intriguing material if handled correctly, and it's a shame that such resources were spent producing a very underachieving, disjointed final product.
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