The Woman in Black (1989 TV Movie)
1/10
Where can I score some?
25 February 2005
Two things I'd like to know from those folks who find this movie terrifying: What were you on when you watched it, and where can I get some? Honestly, this is one of the lamest "horror" films I've ever suffered through. The film is lacking in anything resembling atmosphere, and I'm not saying that because of its low budget or lack of special effects; I'm no fan of overblown special effects myself. But this movie is simply pedestrian film-making. There's about as much atmosphere here as in your average episode of ALL CREATURES GREAT AND SMALL, which is what this movie most closely resembles on a visual level. It just feels like an overlong TV show, the kind in which you'd expect Nancy Drew and a bunch of her girlfriends to show up and solve the juvenile mystery.

As for the title spirit, I'm sorry, but a woman with pasty makeup and lots of eye shadow glaring at me from a distance isn't exactly the stuff of nightmares for me. And as for that big shock scene that everyone mentions, I laughed aloud. She looked and sounded like Carol Kane doing Grandmama in ADDAMS FAMILY VALUES. I watched the movie with someone who usually jumps out of her seat at anything the least bit spooky, and her reaction throughout the film was, "You heard THIS was scary"?

In short, very young kids who want to experience a harmlessly "scary" movie might get a few giggly shudders from this, but I really can't imagine a grownup being scared unless they have such a pathological fear of ghosts that the mere mention of one sends them into a fit. If you're the average adult reading all these rave reviews, and thinking, "Hmmm... I wonder if it really IS as scary as everyone says"?, trust me: DON'T WASTE YOUR TIME; IT'S NOT.
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