I own a collection of Beta videotapes with recordings I made back in the mid- to late-1980s. I've been watching through them and I came upon a volume that led off with something called "Low Blow". For the life of me I couldn't remember anything about this movie. Why did I record it? The third name listed on the opening credits told me. I had a thing for Akosua Busia back in the day.
The first name listed, Leo Fong, told me to expect some sort of chopsocky effort. Sorry for the stereotype. The first scene proved me wrong of sorts. It is an unintentional comedy.
Leo's character, Joe Wong, notices something amiss at the local greasy spoon. Three perps, armed with shotguns and the like, are holding up the joint. Joe, like any sane person, tucks his handgun in the back of his pants, strides in there and proclaims "Where's my ham sandwich?!". Naturally after that he soon gets the drop on all three and bang! bang! bang! problem solved.
Next scene is the obligatory chewing out by the brass at the police station. Here is a prime example of "Low Blow"'s greatest weakness of which there are many. Mr. Fong's total lack of screen writing skill. I'd be hard pressed to think of any scene with dialogue lasting more than a minute of two. Here the cops make their empty threats. Joe responds with the excruciatingly wrong-headed "I save a couple of lives in there.", takes back his gun and heads out the door.
It turns out Joe is not even a rogue cop but a private eye! To describe him, he's got a hang-dog expression that Mr. Fong steadfastly refuses to change throughout the movie. The lone exception is when he splays a malevolent grin while whacking the baddies' Mercedes with a 2x4. He's built more like a truck driver than an athlete. And he's old. I pegged to be in his 40s but Mr. Fong is 10 years older. His office is a pig sty as is his home that from all appearances is located near the municipal dump.
One day on the mean streets of San Francisco, wealthy businessman John Templeton (alright Troy Donahue!) witnesses Joe handily dispatch a couple of yahoos who had mugged a purse off an old lady. Then and there Mr. Templeton decides that Joe is his man to rescue his daughter from a religious cult.
It seems she has given up all her worldly possessions to follow the word of Yarakunda (you think I'm making this up?) played by a heavily-sedated Cameron Mitchell. But the real power is held by Yarakunda's right-hand girl, Karma (Busia). She holds the flock in a compound surrounded by armed guards led by Billy Blanks of "Tai-Bo" fame to keep them in and strangers out. Busia gives the most over-the-top performance I have seen. She chews scenery like the bag of candy she always carrying.
After visiting, and escaping from the compound, Joe decides on a plan. Put together a motley crew to infiltrate the compound. The switch-blade fighter from the barrio, Sticks the numchuck expert, a huge mound of lumpenflesch named Fuzzy, a boxer even older than Joe, etc. Together they'll take on machine gun-wielding men. Of course, in these types of movies the enemy is always utterly incompetent. There's even a showdown between Blanks and Fong that almost reaches the absurdity of John Cusack vs. Benny "the Jet" Urquidez in "Grosse Pointe Blank".
Well now I know why Akosua Busia flamed out after the Color Purple. That always brings me tears, "Low Blow" brought me tears of laughter.
The first name listed, Leo Fong, told me to expect some sort of chopsocky effort. Sorry for the stereotype. The first scene proved me wrong of sorts. It is an unintentional comedy.
Leo's character, Joe Wong, notices something amiss at the local greasy spoon. Three perps, armed with shotguns and the like, are holding up the joint. Joe, like any sane person, tucks his handgun in the back of his pants, strides in there and proclaims "Where's my ham sandwich?!". Naturally after that he soon gets the drop on all three and bang! bang! bang! problem solved.
Next scene is the obligatory chewing out by the brass at the police station. Here is a prime example of "Low Blow"'s greatest weakness of which there are many. Mr. Fong's total lack of screen writing skill. I'd be hard pressed to think of any scene with dialogue lasting more than a minute of two. Here the cops make their empty threats. Joe responds with the excruciatingly wrong-headed "I save a couple of lives in there.", takes back his gun and heads out the door.
It turns out Joe is not even a rogue cop but a private eye! To describe him, he's got a hang-dog expression that Mr. Fong steadfastly refuses to change throughout the movie. The lone exception is when he splays a malevolent grin while whacking the baddies' Mercedes with a 2x4. He's built more like a truck driver than an athlete. And he's old. I pegged to be in his 40s but Mr. Fong is 10 years older. His office is a pig sty as is his home that from all appearances is located near the municipal dump.
One day on the mean streets of San Francisco, wealthy businessman John Templeton (alright Troy Donahue!) witnesses Joe handily dispatch a couple of yahoos who had mugged a purse off an old lady. Then and there Mr. Templeton decides that Joe is his man to rescue his daughter from a religious cult.
It seems she has given up all her worldly possessions to follow the word of Yarakunda (you think I'm making this up?) played by a heavily-sedated Cameron Mitchell. But the real power is held by Yarakunda's right-hand girl, Karma (Busia). She holds the flock in a compound surrounded by armed guards led by Billy Blanks of "Tai-Bo" fame to keep them in and strangers out. Busia gives the most over-the-top performance I have seen. She chews scenery like the bag of candy she always carrying.
After visiting, and escaping from the compound, Joe decides on a plan. Put together a motley crew to infiltrate the compound. The switch-blade fighter from the barrio, Sticks the numchuck expert, a huge mound of lumpenflesch named Fuzzy, a boxer even older than Joe, etc. Together they'll take on machine gun-wielding men. Of course, in these types of movies the enemy is always utterly incompetent. There's even a showdown between Blanks and Fong that almost reaches the absurdity of John Cusack vs. Benny "the Jet" Urquidez in "Grosse Pointe Blank".
Well now I know why Akosua Busia flamed out after the Color Purple. That always brings me tears, "Low Blow" brought me tears of laughter.