Star Wars is perhaps one of the most influential movie franchise of the 1970's. It captured the imagination of billions of people around the world, (including moi) for 28 years. But the unfortunate side of a successful is over exposure that is sure to follow. Star Wars was the epitome of over saturation, and no example of this was more obvious that the infamous "Star Wars Holiday Special".
Until two day's ago, I never had the slightest notion that anyone in their right mind would make a variety program in a galaxy far, far away. I knew that back then, Star Wars was big, to the point of insanity, between the breakfast cereal and the bedroom drapes and that God awful disco version of John Williams' score from the original film. I thought I had seen it all, but I was mistaken. To think that someone sat down and came up with the idea of this monstrosity and someone very important at CBS thought that it was half-way decent.
I find it hard to believe that George Lucas allowed these people to show this this piece of dog excrement. Perhaps old G.L. was brainwashed by Bruce Vilanch and his cronies. Perhaps he was knocked out and put in a closet somewhere with a filthy rag down his throat, feed only stale bread and lukewarm water. I don't know what happened, but it happened, and it makes me very sad.
I have a few questions for the people that are responsible for this special (that turned out to be quite special).
First off, WHAT THE F&%# WAS THE DEAL WITH THE WOOKIES? The little one (I think his name was lumpy or dopey or doc, I can't remember right now)looked like some sort of cross between Gary Coleman and Robin Williams. The mother spent most of the special looking at picture of Chewie and cooking. Not really looking after the little spawn, are ya? Finally, there is my favorite, the grandfather with the gray fur. This little pervert spent a good 7 minutes whacking off to to hologram of Diahann Carroll. That's right, Diahann Caroll, the star of the ground breaking T.V. series "Julia". But I think the biggest "WTF" about the show was the fact that about 2/3 of the thing was wookie talk, WITH NO SUBTITLES TO BOOT. Could someone please remind me why I'm not allowed to know what's their saying. The weirdest thing about the thing is that they can understand English (apparent when Mrs. Chewie was talking to Luke about something).
Question number two: Why the heck is the pace so slow in this special? When I watched a bootleg copy on the internet, it was only supposed to be an hour and thirty five minutes long (approximately) but, in their galaxy, 1:35=9 hours. The pace was so slow, I could actually feel the hate building up inside of me.
Question Three: The musical numbers...why? That's all I really have to ask about them. Not only did they drag on and on AND FRIGGIN' ON, but the song were sung by people with sub-par talent (with the exception of Jefferson Starship, but their set was still horrid). During the Carrie Fisher and Bea Aurthur numbers, I was almost driven to tears because they absolutely butchered John Williams' work. "The Life Day Song"? Give us a break, please. Or even better, chop our ears off with crooked swords so we won't have to listen to it.
In closing, if you looking for a mind-numbing good time, check out "The Star Wars Holiday Special". How mind numbing is it, you ask? My head really hurt after I watched the thing and I think my I.Q. dropped 40 points. This is one of those things you watch to make "MST3K" style comments about.
May the force be with you! Especially if your watching this, because your going to need all the strength you can get.
Until two day's ago, I never had the slightest notion that anyone in their right mind would make a variety program in a galaxy far, far away. I knew that back then, Star Wars was big, to the point of insanity, between the breakfast cereal and the bedroom drapes and that God awful disco version of John Williams' score from the original film. I thought I had seen it all, but I was mistaken. To think that someone sat down and came up with the idea of this monstrosity and someone very important at CBS thought that it was half-way decent.
I find it hard to believe that George Lucas allowed these people to show this this piece of dog excrement. Perhaps old G.L. was brainwashed by Bruce Vilanch and his cronies. Perhaps he was knocked out and put in a closet somewhere with a filthy rag down his throat, feed only stale bread and lukewarm water. I don't know what happened, but it happened, and it makes me very sad.
I have a few questions for the people that are responsible for this special (that turned out to be quite special).
First off, WHAT THE F&%# WAS THE DEAL WITH THE WOOKIES? The little one (I think his name was lumpy or dopey or doc, I can't remember right now)looked like some sort of cross between Gary Coleman and Robin Williams. The mother spent most of the special looking at picture of Chewie and cooking. Not really looking after the little spawn, are ya? Finally, there is my favorite, the grandfather with the gray fur. This little pervert spent a good 7 minutes whacking off to to hologram of Diahann Carroll. That's right, Diahann Caroll, the star of the ground breaking T.V. series "Julia". But I think the biggest "WTF" about the show was the fact that about 2/3 of the thing was wookie talk, WITH NO SUBTITLES TO BOOT. Could someone please remind me why I'm not allowed to know what's their saying. The weirdest thing about the thing is that they can understand English (apparent when Mrs. Chewie was talking to Luke about something).
Question number two: Why the heck is the pace so slow in this special? When I watched a bootleg copy on the internet, it was only supposed to be an hour and thirty five minutes long (approximately) but, in their galaxy, 1:35=9 hours. The pace was so slow, I could actually feel the hate building up inside of me.
Question Three: The musical numbers...why? That's all I really have to ask about them. Not only did they drag on and on AND FRIGGIN' ON, but the song were sung by people with sub-par talent (with the exception of Jefferson Starship, but their set was still horrid). During the Carrie Fisher and Bea Aurthur numbers, I was almost driven to tears because they absolutely butchered John Williams' work. "The Life Day Song"? Give us a break, please. Or even better, chop our ears off with crooked swords so we won't have to listen to it.
In closing, if you looking for a mind-numbing good time, check out "The Star Wars Holiday Special". How mind numbing is it, you ask? My head really hurt after I watched the thing and I think my I.Q. dropped 40 points. This is one of those things you watch to make "MST3K" style comments about.
May the force be with you! Especially if your watching this, because your going to need all the strength you can get.