Copper Mountain (1983 TV Movie)
1/10
Copper Mountain!
15 July 2005
Warning: Spoilers
I own this movie. I OWN IT. I want to destroy it, but I can't. I keep it as a reminder of sorts. A reminder of the consequences of corrupt film-making? Or perhaps to further study the effects of watching one of the worst movies ever made? I'm really not quite sure at the time of writing, but what I do know is, there is a greater purpose of me owning the DVD of this defecation on celluloid. I own this film for a reason. The full title for this complete s***fest is Copper Mountain: A Club Med Experience. Catchy title, huh. The film centres around two young friends (a young Jim Carrey and supposedly famous Alan Thicke) who are travelling to Club Mediterreanean for the Copper Mountain skiing festivities. Well, that's from what I could gather. The film gives absolutely no back-story for this pair, they are simply travelling to stay at a ski lodge. The characters are just so stupid. The dialogue! Even worse. And, if you laugh once in this movie, it's all over for you. Write a suicide note and get out of our realm, you freak.

Jim Carrey's character, Bobby Todd, is so pitifully boring in this movie, I can't believe he got a career in film. I really can't. Unless he didn't put this on his filmography/resume, which is likely. Carrey's character wanders around the lodge doing NOTHING. We watch him do s*** all. There is a minimal plot that involves him wanting to pick up girls but always failing because he's too much of an idiot, but this is presented so badly it shouldn't really be mentioned. On the other hand, we have the Jackson Reach (Alan Thicke) character that wants to get into the Pro Skiing Competition, yet his competitive nature gets in the way and he loses to several people. And that's where his story ends. Honest, to god, that's pretty much all that happens. There is also some insanely out of place subplot about some dumb broad that has feelings for her protégé, or something... I don't really know, I was much more focused on my mental safety.

This movie goes for a whopping 58 minutes. That's right, including the credits. Yet, there is about... oh... 25 minutes of storyline here. The rest of the film is basically musical guest appearances and ski footage. That's right. The majority of this film is some poxy concert with a heap of bad singers. This movie would be better suited to the title: Rita Coolidge in Concert - Starring Jim Carrey. Not to mention the opening titles (which also has the musical 'splendor' of Rita Coolidge playing over them) go for at least 6 minutes. There is barely any film here at all.

Anyone that feels like they can take on Copper Mountain, make sure you take some necessary precautions. 1. Don't watch the movie all the way through in one sitting like I did, as I am still recovering. Half to quarterly intervals should be your guideline to stop, take time to get over what you just saw, and start again. 2. Avoid watching alone, as I did. Other people pointing out the movies flaws can dilute the the overall effect of the source, making it seem like a joke, whilst also making it much easier to watch. 3. Remember, once you start, you can always turn back. It's better to give up while you can, then to live the rest of your life knowing the ending of Copper Mountain. And finally 4. Always be prepared. Hopefully, this review has given you an outline of the worst this picture can throw at you, but, things change when you are actually face to face with it. Keep calm, keep sane, and try and enjoy yourself on Copper Mountain.

If this is a Club Med experience, I'll easily settle to stay in a trailer park.

0.5/10
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