2/10
Zomnambulists - and you'll be one too if you watch this film
30 July 2005
This is what happens when silly sociology meets insipid film making. The dead don't rise so much as roll over, yawn, stretch, and, after turning off the clock radio, get up and head for a quick pee. These pinot thirsty ghouls shamble into town with their hair nicely coiffed (not stringy, or matted with leaves and dirt like the EC comics creepy creatures), their clothes clean and bright (how many funerals have people buried in colorful summer clothes?), and their bodies unperturbed by the embalming process. This pic is a testament to a certain parochial bourgeois view - the locals are not unnerved or surprised, just concerned about the social-economic ramifications of an influx of undead. How are we going to find them jobs? While one women can barely manage as a 'lunch lady,' another guy is re-installed in his former position as - huh? - an architect. This film is perversely un-gritty. It's too willing to overlook so many obvious questions while determined to doggedly 'probe' a set of issues that oddly don't seem very pressing, to wit, "what would we do if dead people came back to life, wouldn't eat our flesh but couldn't work either, were boring to be around, and wished they were dead?" Duh! Put 'em in prisons, institutions, and old folks homes.

The first date I ever had I took to see Dawn of the Dead. They Came Back, I might take my ex to see - then skip out after a couple minutes. This is one humorless melodrama. I think she'd like it.

PS: 'Grapes of Death,' which sounds like a title a francophobe humorist would come up with but is a real French zombie pic, is also available for your 'enjoyment.' Definitely more blood-n-gore, somewhat less philosophical (but only somewhat), but still a b-movie that is neither good enough nor bad enough to be good.
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