When this movie opens, all one can think is, "Is Judith Light going to wear that horrible Little Orphan Annie wig throughout the entire movie?" The answer is yes. She works hard for her money in this Lifetime movie about an ex-addict and ex-convict set up by an ambitious attorney boyfriend who sends her back to the slamma'. Once there, she sees there have been some changes. What these changes are, it isn't really clear, but we trust that hardened criminal Light knows what she's talking about. Turns out, the guards are buying gifts for the inmates in exchange for sex. This doesn't sound too bad to me, because the women seem to have crushes on their guards. These courtships sour, though, when the guards take the sex if the gals don't give it up. There are other abuses too, I guess, but, as one of the guards says, "It's all about the sex." That's the beautiful thing about this movie, which had me frequently pausing to hug my pillow and scream with delight, "This is the best movie ever made! I love it! I love it! I love it!" All of the boring taking on the system parts are left out and all of the wonderful being impregnated by the guards, fighting in the cafeteria, and Judith singing "And the rock-ets red glare!" while being strapped down to a gurney parts are left in. At times, the film will just cut to her with blood on her face and we have no idea how it got there, nor do we care. You know you've got a great movie on your hands when Stacey Keach is a mere distraction. There are 3 (!) suicides 2 fail, and the other might be a murder, the "suits" are hilarious, there are lesbians who just hug in the background, the music morphs is an impressive country riff, mouthy Judith twice gets in the way of men protective of their promotions, and a guard licks an inmate's face (also seen in T2, is this a thing that guards are into?). Another guard actually tells a girl to, "Respect my authoritah!" Other memorable quotes include:
"Before prison, I couldn't even change my lighter fluid. Now I'm making steel doors." "Pull up your pants and get back to work." "I forgot to thank you for the sneakers and panties." "What are you going to do for me Lawyer Lips." (I could've misheard this one, but I hope not.) "We've still got a long way to go." (Not funny until they for some reason burst into hysterical laughter about it.)
Watch it immediately.
"Before prison, I couldn't even change my lighter fluid. Now I'm making steel doors." "Pull up your pants and get back to work." "I forgot to thank you for the sneakers and panties." "What are you going to do for me Lawyer Lips." (I could've misheard this one, but I hope not.) "We've still got a long way to go." (Not funny until they for some reason burst into hysterical laughter about it.)
Watch it immediately.