Housesitter begins simply enough: Steve Martin has secretly built a dream house as an engagement ring to his lifelong love, Dana Delany. When he springs it on her without warning, she rejects his proposal.
We also learn that Martin is an architectural purist, working under a boss who, frankly, doesn't care what Martin has to say.
So far, so good, right? Sympathetic character, clear goals and intentions, and an emerging plot line that seems plausible...
Enter Goldie Hawn, in her same old Laugh-In "What, cute lil' ol' me?" role that has been her lame crutch for decades. Not that she doesn't have range, but it seems that whenever she gets hold of a bad script, she falls back on it like one of Pavlov's dogs.
She plays Gwen, a part-time waitress and full-time transient liar. After she and Martin have a one-night stand, she decides, after looking at a napkin drawing of Martin's dream house, that she is going to squat in it for a while.
She moves to his hometown under the guise that she is his wife. Keep in mind, this is a town where Martin GREW UP. And the people here have known him ALL HIS LIFE. Yet somehow, his closest friends, family, and even his would-be lover all buy Hawn's vapid deceptions, despite having never seen Martin and Hawn together, or having heard anything about Gwen existing. At all.
This is the first act, the only somewhat redeemable portion of this mindless drivel that Stein and Oz seem to think people will actually buy.
To prevent spoilers, I'm going to be vague in plot description.
Essentially, Martin finds out what happens and decides to use Hawn to make Delany jealous. How excitingly original. Nevermind that she's been using his money to furnish his home and buy herself food and clothing. Nevermind that his money is, "all tied up in that house." Where this money comes from, we never know.
And honestly, if anybody as straight-laced as Martin's character found one-night stand squatting in his house, he wouldn't just kick her out? Call the cops? Send some of the extravagant objects back? But it's a convenient plot device to ignore all of this, and it allows Hawn to be "cute"...so it's okay, according to Director Frank Oz and Writer Mark Stein.
Unfortunately, Martin turns from a likable everyman into a dishonest and manipulative heel. He becomes every bit as unbelievable as any of the lies the two of them weave, but not nearly as unbelievable as every supporting character in this film.
Remember now, these people are lifelong friends and kin to Martin. Yet they never know when he's lying, and never seem to catch on when Hawn and Martin's stories are entirely contradictory. They don't even wear wedding rings, another oversight in this limp story.
These emerging flaws in Martin, and Hawn's nauseating unbelievability (not the "good" kind portrayed as cute in this movie, but the acting kind) provide a major sympathetic vacuum. The only person you feel anything for is Dana Delany and Martin's parents, who are the target of the most manipulation.
So...who do we care about, really? It's Martin and Hawn's story, but somehow there's no reason to care. By the end, Stein artificially interjects Delany's materialism, with only a few sparse lines in the early third act to evidence this. Too little, too late. A few shallow lines towards the end of the story do NOT make an adequate antagonist.
By the time this movie ends, there's no reason to care about anybody. Martin is a manipulative sneak who lied his way into a better life (which, for some reason, is never discovered...ever), Hawn is flat and doesn't seem to care about the material at all, and Frank Oz and MArk Stein have overlooked one major flaw in this movie...
It completely depends on the audience's attachment to the Hawn-Martin mechanic, substituting this identification for anything resembling a viable plot line or characterization.
We also learn that Martin is an architectural purist, working under a boss who, frankly, doesn't care what Martin has to say.
So far, so good, right? Sympathetic character, clear goals and intentions, and an emerging plot line that seems plausible...
Enter Goldie Hawn, in her same old Laugh-In "What, cute lil' ol' me?" role that has been her lame crutch for decades. Not that she doesn't have range, but it seems that whenever she gets hold of a bad script, she falls back on it like one of Pavlov's dogs.
She plays Gwen, a part-time waitress and full-time transient liar. After she and Martin have a one-night stand, she decides, after looking at a napkin drawing of Martin's dream house, that she is going to squat in it for a while.
She moves to his hometown under the guise that she is his wife. Keep in mind, this is a town where Martin GREW UP. And the people here have known him ALL HIS LIFE. Yet somehow, his closest friends, family, and even his would-be lover all buy Hawn's vapid deceptions, despite having never seen Martin and Hawn together, or having heard anything about Gwen existing. At all.
This is the first act, the only somewhat redeemable portion of this mindless drivel that Stein and Oz seem to think people will actually buy.
To prevent spoilers, I'm going to be vague in plot description.
Essentially, Martin finds out what happens and decides to use Hawn to make Delany jealous. How excitingly original. Nevermind that she's been using his money to furnish his home and buy herself food and clothing. Nevermind that his money is, "all tied up in that house." Where this money comes from, we never know.
And honestly, if anybody as straight-laced as Martin's character found one-night stand squatting in his house, he wouldn't just kick her out? Call the cops? Send some of the extravagant objects back? But it's a convenient plot device to ignore all of this, and it allows Hawn to be "cute"...so it's okay, according to Director Frank Oz and Writer Mark Stein.
Unfortunately, Martin turns from a likable everyman into a dishonest and manipulative heel. He becomes every bit as unbelievable as any of the lies the two of them weave, but not nearly as unbelievable as every supporting character in this film.
Remember now, these people are lifelong friends and kin to Martin. Yet they never know when he's lying, and never seem to catch on when Hawn and Martin's stories are entirely contradictory. They don't even wear wedding rings, another oversight in this limp story.
These emerging flaws in Martin, and Hawn's nauseating unbelievability (not the "good" kind portrayed as cute in this movie, but the acting kind) provide a major sympathetic vacuum. The only person you feel anything for is Dana Delany and Martin's parents, who are the target of the most manipulation.
So...who do we care about, really? It's Martin and Hawn's story, but somehow there's no reason to care. By the end, Stein artificially interjects Delany's materialism, with only a few sparse lines in the early third act to evidence this. Too little, too late. A few shallow lines towards the end of the story do NOT make an adequate antagonist.
By the time this movie ends, there's no reason to care about anybody. Martin is a manipulative sneak who lied his way into a better life (which, for some reason, is never discovered...ever), Hawn is flat and doesn't seem to care about the material at all, and Frank Oz and MArk Stein have overlooked one major flaw in this movie...
It completely depends on the audience's attachment to the Hawn-Martin mechanic, substituting this identification for anything resembling a viable plot line or characterization.