2/10
Low budget, no scares, Lugosi
18 November 2005
This is Bela Lugosi's only starring feature in color. That's about all it has going for it, really; the schtick of having a corpse narrate the movie (Which would be done quite a bit better a few years later by Sunset Blvd.) isn't well executed, anyway.

Laura Van Ee (Mary Lamont) is a nervous, tension-ridden ex-dancer who thinks she's imprisoned in her room by her husband Ward and her father in law Dr. Josef (George Zucco). She's mad, mad I tell you! Since it's her corpse that narrates, I think we can assume we know what happens to Mrs. Van Ee right from the get-go.

Why is she so anxious? She's not sure - no one is - but everyone suspects it all has something to do with her past, and something to do with a handkerchief. Enter Bela Lugosi and a midget - no, wait, Professor Leonide and his faithful companion, Indigo. And a wisecracking, tough-guy reporter (Douglas Fowley) and his dim-bulb dame (Joyce Compton). Add in a bumbling ex-cop who overtly desires a murder so he can solve it and get back to "real" policework (Nat Pendelton), and you have all the ingredients for One Crappy Low Budget Movie.

Every now and then the director remembers this is supposed to be a horror film, not a crime caper, so you hear this loopy pseudospooky music that's probably supposed to portend doom, or something. Which makes some sort of sense, but there's nothing creepy going on at the time, so it's hardly effective.

I've heard tell that Lamont, as the haunted Mrs. Ee (love the surname) is the only actor with any kind of spirit (ha, ha) in the movie - but please, hammy isn't the same as being spirited. Lugosi plays Lugosi, the midget disappears halfway through the picture, there's a supposedly disembodied head, and that's about it. It's all over in an hour or so.
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