More celebrity hogwash
12 January 2006
STAR RATING: ***** The Works **** Just Misses the Mark *** That Little Bit In Between ** Lagging Behind * The Pits

The same concept as the original BB (where nobodies go in!), only this time with 11 'celebrities', though usually D listers or below or else once big-time stars desperate to re-vive their careers.

What makes the regular Big Brother stand out is that it's 12 ordinary people who nobody knows and we watch to see what being couped up in a house with 12 different personalities will do to certain individuals and get a car crash sort of thrill out of watching them fall out, bitch and moan about each other. But as regards celebrities, we get enough of that in gossip columns and magazines with them, but still we as a society feel the need for a 'celebrity' big brother (although this year they've put a bit of a slant on this by putting an Essex girl named Chantelle in who's first task is to fool all the other real celebs into thinking she was in a girl-band that had a hit record!)

Seeing what an impact last year's series had, I ended up feeling a bit left out that I didn't pay much attention to it while it was on, but I've payed pretty sharp attention to this year's series so far. We have a really controversial contestant in Michael Barrymore, still dogged by the unsolved death of a party-goer at his house five years ago and living in New Zealand since. He probably set many tongues wagging before he even set foot in the house, and equally disliked by some is Labour defector George Galloway, backing out of Blair's invasion of Iraq plan at the last minute and an alleged friend of Saddam Hussein's (he might be mourning a loss later on in the year then!) They are easily the two most controversial house-mates and, as the older ones, they've also tried to be the most dominating ones and are now seen as bullies in the eyes of some. Extrovert wise, we have cross dressing basketball champ Dennis Rodman, with his eye seemingly on all the sexy ladies in the house (including Baywatch's first mixed race babe Tracy Bingham and Sven's bit on the side, Faria Alam), and the unbelievable Pete Burns. The rest are the usual ones at the end of the celebrity scale ('Maggot' out of Goldie Lookin' Chain, some guy out of some band I've never heard of and reality TV favourite Jodie Marsh.)

Like it's original counter-part, it is of course rubbish TV, where conflicting personalities are deliberately hoisted in together to cause friction, spirit-crushing 'tasks' are set to humiliate and wear down the contestants motivation and self-esteem and it's all basically as manufactured as a pop band, but it's also as big a guilty pleasure as it's CP and you can't help but watch it and get hooked in on it. And the series is only young yet, and we never know what will develop. ***
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