2/10
A wasted opportunity.
3 October 2006
I didn't read anything before watching this. I was hoping that in the aftermath of Lord of the Rings Beowulf might also be a fairly good film. It looks good. The weather is great. Iceland is a joy to see. But that's about it. They really wasted a fine chance to bring us the dark ages in mythic form. And they really destroyed the meaning of the story.

The worst parts are these: Grendel is made into a sympathetic human figure who basically just speaks a different language. The real Grendel is a bloodthirsty carnivorous monster and is the inspiration for Tolkien's Gollum. He's much more like an animal than human. Thus a whole subplot about Grendel's hurt feelings makes the story into an oddly politically correct mess at its core.

Selma... Who the hell is Selma? Just a trendy pretty witch girl. She represents the old magic. She is sensitive and pseudo-mysterious. Now I like Sarah Polley as an actress. But without some dialogue coaching here, she sounds like a refugee from "The Craft", not someone from the past. And her and her son's hairstyles are likewise so much anachronistic tripe. And what was going on with her and Grendel? Brendan the Celtic Priest? Umm, do you think Europe was really Christianized by buffoons like this? This was just a poorly written "comment" upon the Christian implications of the original story. Or rather one more chance to say that the wonderful pagan world was ruined by idiot Christians. If they were going to get all of the Christianity out of the narrator's version they should have just done that without the unclever potshot at Christianity.

Beowulf. Not a bad actor, but where did he get that "What the F..." lingo? Let's just blame the low grade imagination of the screenwriter.

There are I suppose people who don't really care about the original poem. And people who will mistake this for some sort of treatment of the dark barbarian times. Don't be one of them. Educate yourself. Read the original.

The sad thing is that it will be years before someone can attempt to remake Beowulf as it should be done. They wasted their chance.
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