If Lucy Fell (1996)
1/10
I hope you enjoy it as much as I did!
4 October 2006
No mistake, I hope you enjoy this movie as much as I did, and I gave it one star. But it's a gold star! A big bright shiny-no wait, that's a finger. Definitely one finger. A middle finger, belonging to me. A long time ago two friends of mine told me they'd just gone to see it, and I made fun of them. Mind you at the time I knew little about the movie other than it had an incredibly stupid name and that Sarah Jessica Parker still looked human. They both told me to shut up because at least I hadn't suffered the movie. Well I never felt really good about my initial response to being told they'd seen it (I literally laughed at them) so when it came on a movie channel last might I decided to check it out. I'll say that I was impressed. Not with Sarah Jessica Parker, who was moving away from pretty (Honeymoon in Vegas pretty) toward the thing from Family Stone. Nor was I impressed with Eric Shaffer (don't know if I spelled that right, don't care-he doesn't' deserve the consideration), who first wrote this horrible movie, then made it, and worst of all cast his own ugly stupid ass in the part that gets Elle Macpherson (I think I spelled that right, checked on her IMDb page and it looks good). And I wasn't impressed by Ben Stiller's moron because, while he did a fine job of playing an idiot, the character lacked any redeeming quality and came across as a prick who tried to act like an artist but who didn't understand art (like the writer/director). What impressed me was that Scarlett Johansson was pretty good at a very young age, that Elle Macpherson acted attracted to an idiot and managed to pull it off a bit and that there was someone in the movie (the old guy) who felt the same way I do about the clown who made the movie. This movie sucked about as badly as a movie can, right up until the cliché 'realize what they're looking for has been staring them in the face' ending. At that point it fell into that brown, stinky, steaming pile of filth, one of which actually IS the worst ever, the rest being serious contenders.

What this movie is missing is something vital to a good date movie. The two leads make a pact to jump off the Brooklyn Bridge. A good date movie develops characters that you could potentially like in real life and so you'd rather see them end up happy. Both leads in this suck. They're zeroes, completely lacking in value. I wanted them to jump.

One other thing-when I was in college a friend of mine was an art major. Every art major had to exhibit their work openly for anyone who wanted to see. I went to my friend's show and was really surprised. Not because of how good his stuff was (it was and he's made a career of it for almost 15 years now). No, what surprised me was that his wasn't the only exhibit, and that the subject of the other exhibit was---a kid that lived in my dorm. Every picture this chick made (and I think they were all chalk) was this kid in my dorm. Just like in the movie! And when I went to make fun of him for it I couldn't because he thought it so weird and frightening he was afraid to leave his room! Just like in the movie...oh wait, she liked it. I forget that in movies obsession is an appealing quality, peeping is admired and stalking is cool.

Having thought about it I think if I ever see Eric Schafer I'll have to give him a good slap.
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