3/10
The ends do not justify the beginnings
31 October 2006
The Wicker Man (2006) dir: Neil LaBute

I never cared for the original The Wicker Man. I found it slow, dull and rather uninteresting, with the exception of lots of boobies.

LaBute has taken the idea and made it into a Neil LaBute rant about feminism. However, the movie tells more about the creator than it does about feminism.

Police Officer Edward Malus works the motorcycle beat in California when a girl and her mother are hit by a truck, and the car explodes while he tries to save them. However, the bodies are never found. Coincidentally, while he's on leave and taking meds, he receives a note from his ex-fiancée (7 years ago) whose daughter is missing, and he feels summoned to the location of Summersisle, a private island in Washington. There, he finds that the residents to be mainly female pagans who believe in femininity as God. The residents, however, make it out that the missing daughter doesn't exist. And, with an oncoming ritual of fertility to appease the Gods, will Malus be out of time before the girl is sacrificed? Edward Malus is a poorly drawn Neil LaBute male protagonist. He is the uncaring machismo male who is one-minded and full of wrath. This time, however, he is also dumb, irrational, and makes a lot of decisions out of his character. Acted by Nicholas Cage, the character loses all hope of even resembling a fully-drawn character. Nicholas Cage emphasizes every distinct mood change and irrational moment to the point of nausea.

He is up against a man-hating female society led by Sister Summersisle played by Ellen Burstyn, who is still a good actress slumming it in this picture. All of the females have a distinct personality trait but not a full-fledged personality. But, this is the point.

And, what a point it is. Reinforcing the idea that women are smarter than men (see The Shape of Things), The Wicker Man sends Malus to his inevitable conclusion regardless of logic and behavioral standards. LaBute adores feminism and hates men. However, he also resents male brute strength over females. He also resents female emotional strength over men. And, this cements his beliefs fully. But, his ideologies aren't even at fault here.

The beginning of the movie starts out fair enough, but as the movie pushes its way down you have to make more and more leaps of faith. And then, the bad dialog comes pouring out in the final 20-30 minutes. From "I'm going to find Rowan and what I need from you is to stay out of my f---ing way!" to "Ahhhh, my legs!!" the movie gets some really silly dialog...and considering its a LaBute film, its a shame to see his talent for dialog go to pot.

The big questions, however, are "Is it better than the original?" and "Is it worth it?" It is arguably worse than the original. It is vastly different and in some aspects better and other aspects much much worse. But, it isn't worth it.

C-
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