4/10
The door to … the crap-house???
1 February 2007
Warning: Spoilers
Now, "Beyond the Door" isn't a complete dud, but it does suffer from one too many imbecile situations and overly tedious sub plots that go absolutely nowhere at all. Total lack of inventiveness and shamelessly stealing ideas from previous horror-blockbusters is one thing, but why did the duo of directors insist on stuffing their movie with so many incoherent & crappy padding story lines? There's so much going on in this film's script that never gets explained and only the actual satanic possession story elements (which hardly cover 50% of the whole film) deliver a handful of suspenseful moments and genuine frights. At 109 minutes (Japanese edition), the movie plays for far too long and, combined with the world's most awful dubbing job and insufferable cast members, this doesn't exactly form the most enjoyable viewing. It opens weird, yet mildly intriguing, with a voice-over introduction by no less than Satan himself! But already this monologue goes on for too damn long and your mind starts thinking stuff like: "Satan, shut up and start playing the movie already!" Subsequently we're introduced to a supposedly all-American family of four. The children, whose lines are ridiculously dubbed by adult actors, are annoying little brats that drink cold soup right out of the can (??) and read twelve identical copies of the same fairy-tales book. What the hell? Despite this family's weird characteristics, they lead a normal life until mother Jessica discovers she's pregnant again. Quite strange, since she has taken her birth control pill all the time and she and her husband Robert certainly aren't anticipating another baby (can you blame them?). Satan already informed us in his extended prologue that it will be the devil's baby, and it doesn't take too long before Jessica starts to behave strangely and very aggressive towards the helpful people in her surrounding. Robert and a befriended doctor try to work out an abortion while suddenly Jessica's former lover pops up. He – Dimitri – is one of Satan's disciples and insists on the baby getting born. This is somewhat the moment where the whole story inevitably goes to hell; working its way towards an incredibly dire and laughably pathetic climax.

The actual "possession" sequences as well as the obligatory gross make-up effects are embarrassingly similar to "The Exorcist". Poor Jessica vomits thick green stuff, uses a whole lot of imaginative foul language and her head even spins 180° around. The fetus growing inside her as well as the reactions of Jessica's surrounding, on the other hand, are more than clearly influenced by that other genre classic "Rosemary's Baby". Although they can't possibly deliver any shocks or surprises, the sequences illustrating Jessica's agony form the only highlights in the film. They're fairly intense with some excellently crafted, albeit low budget, gross out effects. Particularly this one scene in which the two children are trapped in their room and their play dolls come to live with eerie green eyes is rather frightening. Other scenes are redundant and indescribably stupid, like the supposedly infamous "flute scene" where Robert walks down the street followed around by musicians with instruments stuffed in their noses. The wannabe paradox ending is downright lame and makes you feel like you totally wasted 109 precious minutes of your life. Oh well, at least the direction is steady and the music is atmospheric. Other interesting (and much better) "Exorcist" clones include "The Antichrist", "Demon-Witch-Child" and "Abby". Still, "Beyond the Door" is much better than "The Eerie Horror Midnight Show".
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