Review of Lightspeed

Lightspeed (2006 TV Movie)
1/10
Below any acceptable standard of quality
6 April 2007
43 year old Jason Connery plays a "ghost squad" agent who must fight his old friend Daniel Goddard who has turned into a snake man named Python. Connery gets trapped in a collapsing building and then irradiated at the hospital which gives him the power to run in fast forward. His costume is a bunch of crap from a sporting goods store. Python has an awesome makeup job and a plot to destroy the government for non-specific revenge, but he's equally silly.

The quality of this production is so crude that it makes most low budget TV movies look good. It's full of choppy slow motion, unnecessary dissolves, and ultra cheap CG special effects. Things blur and ghost a lot in an attempt to hide the unprofessional shooting, even though it just makes it look worse. The camera work is mindless and the score is canned. Not to mention the acting, which is typical of TV movies and straight to video junk. Python is especially bad since the guy under the makeup is trying to do the villain voice the whole time.

Connery never looks like anything but a middle aged loser in a jogging suit. This seems careless as all they really needed to do was put a girdle and a hairpiece on him. Apart from this, his performance makes it obvious he never would have been in movies in the first place if his father hadn't been Sean Connery.

Connery's character, Daniel Leight (leight, light, Lightspeed! Get it?) has a girlfriend played by Nicole Eggert. She's also part of the "ghost squad" (which is supposed to be a kind of special forces meet SWAT team) which is a pretty laughable concept as she is just another disposable Baywatch bimbo. Naturally she winds up as bait later in the film.

It's weak and predictable every step of the way. More than anything it feels like a knockoff of "Black Mask 2" which was worthless anyhow. It's 88 minutes are an eternity for any halfway discerning movie viewer. Oh, and Lee Majors is in it. Enough said.
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