Cannon Movie Tales were a low budget string of films that had remarkably big stars in them, but were really much too corny for most people's taste. I highly urge everyone to avoid the clunky adaptation of "Beauty and the Beast". The only other one I've seen is "Snow White", which is marginally better... but that's damning with faint praise, considering this version of "Snow White" isn't particularly good and has a considerable list of faults.
Take, for instance, Snow White and the Prince's meeting. He meets her right after she is awakened from the poisoned apple (instead of a revitalizing kiss, the piece is jostled out of her mouth). Instead of a courtship, they immediately marry in what is easily the most joyless and mechanical wedding to ever appear in a children's film. Neither couple looks remotely happy. It could be because they haven't had a properly dated; but then, when has that ever been important in fairy tales? Couldn't one of them at least crack a hint of a smile? As the Evil Queen, Diana Rigg seems to channel Gloria Swanson from "Sunset Boulevard". In every scene Rigg was in, I waited with baited breath to hear her say, "All right, Mr. De Mille, I'm ready for my close-up!" Rigg also has a dreadful musical number (and the poor dear can't sing a note) and an appallingly hideous wardrobe. We're talking foot-high headdresses and shapeless, sequined tunics. Don't you think someone as vain as the Queen would be a little more fashion savvy than this? The editing is also inexcusably poor. When little Snow White (Nicola Stapleton) is running from the hunter trying to kill her, there are random, stock footage close-ups of animals that play no part in the scene whatsoever, like the lingering shot of a python that has no payoff at all. And for such a climactic, pivotal scene, it was rather boring and ineffective.
The dwarfs are at least partially amusing, acting like a bunch of aging vaudevillians, and painfully attractive brunette Sarah Patterson ("The Company of Wolves") plays Snow White. She brings nothing new to the part, but since Snow White isn't supposed to be interesting, that's to be expected.
Normally, I write reviews warning people against bad movies. However, this version of "Snow White" is worth a watch for its corny screenplay, bad acting, and some of the most ridiculous sequences ever. Remember when I mentioned the poisoned piece of apple coming out of Snow White's mouth? It actually flies out of her mouth, in a hilarious, bad blue screen effect, and soars through the sky and hits the Evil Queen in the head. Words fail me.
Grab a movie buddy and have a some MST3K-style quips ready for this delightfully campy fairy tale.
Take, for instance, Snow White and the Prince's meeting. He meets her right after she is awakened from the poisoned apple (instead of a revitalizing kiss, the piece is jostled out of her mouth). Instead of a courtship, they immediately marry in what is easily the most joyless and mechanical wedding to ever appear in a children's film. Neither couple looks remotely happy. It could be because they haven't had a properly dated; but then, when has that ever been important in fairy tales? Couldn't one of them at least crack a hint of a smile? As the Evil Queen, Diana Rigg seems to channel Gloria Swanson from "Sunset Boulevard". In every scene Rigg was in, I waited with baited breath to hear her say, "All right, Mr. De Mille, I'm ready for my close-up!" Rigg also has a dreadful musical number (and the poor dear can't sing a note) and an appallingly hideous wardrobe. We're talking foot-high headdresses and shapeless, sequined tunics. Don't you think someone as vain as the Queen would be a little more fashion savvy than this? The editing is also inexcusably poor. When little Snow White (Nicola Stapleton) is running from the hunter trying to kill her, there are random, stock footage close-ups of animals that play no part in the scene whatsoever, like the lingering shot of a python that has no payoff at all. And for such a climactic, pivotal scene, it was rather boring and ineffective.
The dwarfs are at least partially amusing, acting like a bunch of aging vaudevillians, and painfully attractive brunette Sarah Patterson ("The Company of Wolves") plays Snow White. She brings nothing new to the part, but since Snow White isn't supposed to be interesting, that's to be expected.
Normally, I write reviews warning people against bad movies. However, this version of "Snow White" is worth a watch for its corny screenplay, bad acting, and some of the most ridiculous sequences ever. Remember when I mentioned the poisoned piece of apple coming out of Snow White's mouth? It actually flies out of her mouth, in a hilarious, bad blue screen effect, and soars through the sky and hits the Evil Queen in the head. Words fail me.
Grab a movie buddy and have a some MST3K-style quips ready for this delightfully campy fairy tale.