I was unlucky enough to run across a screener for Universal Soldiers.
IMDb doesn't offer a low enough rating for this direct-to-video turkey, and even Kristen Quintrall's frequent near-display of her rather ample charms in a tank top doesn't help it out.
In a done-before scenario of a mixed group of military, CIA and civilians trying to overcome impossible odds and live through the story, we get a trite little tale that's all too predictable. We're presented with a cast of characters who between them can't come up with a single likable entity, bad acting, horrendous dialog that's poorly delivered (mostly at a screeching shout), mediocre special effects and an overall waste of time. And talk about exotic location...the entire (mostly outdoor) flick was probably shot on less than six acres of semi-arid, hilly land.
In fact, the one thing this painfully bad "movie" has going for it is that it's blessedly short at an hour and 24 minutes including ego screens at the beginning and credits at the end. Do yourself a favor.
Go watch paint dry, or grass grow.
You'll get more pleasure out of it.
IMDb doesn't offer a low enough rating for this direct-to-video turkey, and even Kristen Quintrall's frequent near-display of her rather ample charms in a tank top doesn't help it out.
In a done-before scenario of a mixed group of military, CIA and civilians trying to overcome impossible odds and live through the story, we get a trite little tale that's all too predictable. We're presented with a cast of characters who between them can't come up with a single likable entity, bad acting, horrendous dialog that's poorly delivered (mostly at a screeching shout), mediocre special effects and an overall waste of time. And talk about exotic location...the entire (mostly outdoor) flick was probably shot on less than six acres of semi-arid, hilly land.
In fact, the one thing this painfully bad "movie" has going for it is that it's blessedly short at an hour and 24 minutes including ego screens at the beginning and credits at the end. Do yourself a favor.
Go watch paint dry, or grass grow.
You'll get more pleasure out of it.