Jane Doe: Ties That Bind (2007 TV Movie)
Unjustifiably smug
28 October 2007
George Barrister is the CFO of EM Industries and confronts CEO Everett Myers with charges of extortion and corruption, calling a special board meeting to expose his embezzlement. Myers leaves the office that night but the security staff and CCTC catch him returning to the offices at the exact moment that Barrister is murdered. Open and close case? Well it appears that Myers and his wife were dining with the Mayor at the time of the murder so how can he have been in two places at the same time? Needless to say, sloping-shouldered CSA boss Frank Darnell turns to Jane Doe for help.

For a film series that sells itself entirely on mystery and puzzles I must confess that few of the Jane Doe films have engaged or gripped me in the way they should do. Here we a typically "impossible" puzzle but, lets be honest, the film was always going to pull the "identical twin" card out of the pack and when it finally does it is no surprise. In fact the only surprising thing is it then pulls the "identical triples" card out of the pack and just keeps adding twists within these rather silly twists to keep things a mystery. It doesn't really work and it all feels a bit lazy and uninspired. The score helps rob it of any tension it might have had by being as atmospheric and unique as a Starbucks.

The usual family stuff is as bland as usual even if it is a nice idea to have a touch of the mystery in there as well. It doesn't help that every family scene is delivered with this soft music that was composed by a committee of soulless robots or that the dialogue is apple pie and lacks even a touch of realism – see the chat between the lost parents about how the concern of Susan's father is a really cool thing, is this a discussion real teenagers have on a night of freedom? Probably not, I suspect kissing and flirting would be quickly put on the agenda in the real world. The cast match the bland approach of the material. Thompson is very much so-so throughout and has nothing but the "wholesome mum" about her. Of course she dominates William Moses who seems more and more to be tried to adopt a foetal position in regards his performance so infantile and lacklustre is it. Penny is a much better presence and he holds the attention well. Carradine is OK with his multiple characters but his conclusion does come off like a bad episode of Star Trek. Schram and Shada are as annoying and unconvincing as ever, I suspect they have a long and bland career in poor television movies ahead of them both.

Overall then a typically bland entry in the Jane Doe series. The series needs solid mysteries to make it work but as it goes on it seems to be less and less challenging and more and more bland as it goes on, wallowing in mediocrity as if it is some sort of badge of honour. I didn't expect much from it but a warm, undemanding mystery but this just smacks of laziness.
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