First off, I didn't know that anyone else had even SEEN this f***ing thing. I caught it when I was maybe eleven years old and that's only because my little hometown video store must have ordered every shot-on-video turd ever made (that may have something to do with why they're no longer in business) but of all the crap I watched in my youth (and I do mean CRAP, folks) this one and this other little thing called "The Skid Kid" (which doesn't even show up on IMDb, probably for the better) tend to stick out in my memory as some of the best times I ever had with pure awfulness. The story that makes up "Little Marines" is irrelevant. Just think of "Stand By Me" if it had been stripped of everything that made it a classic, then remade to where it was set in "modern" times, with nonactors, the production values of a third-rate after-school special, and written by someone who had absolutely zero idea of what kids were really like at that age.
Basically, three kids go camping. That's the plot. Along the way they run into a hateful cop, a drug-dealer in a corvette, some paintgun wielding kid on a cheap little motorscooter, and a s***load of turtles. They build a tee-pee and work out to "YMCA" (yes, that's right). There's also some very awkward and uncomfortable-feeling (for me, anyway) flashback scenes that involve a recently deceased friend of the boys and some kind of talent show with bananas for microphones (Seriously folks, Kools are all I've been smoking today). You know that odd feeling of nostalgia you get when you flip through an old grade-school yearbook? How about that feeling of dread you used to get on Sunday afternoons when you knew that you had to be at school the next morning? Well, that's the feeling I got from these scenes....the FIRST time I watched it. Not sure what that says about the film (or me for that matter) but that's the closest I can come to describing it and I've never had that same feeling come from another movie since. Weird.
Now as you can probably tell by now, if you're still reading at this point, this is not exactly high-quality entertainment. You can tell that the "film makers" did not intend to make a "hey let's laugh at the b-movie" kinda flick. It seems far too sincere for that. Come to think of it, I'm really not sure that they even knew what they were trying to make. But they did succeed in an unintentional comic masterpiece. The dialogue is a hoot and I'd add it to my library for that alone. How about all those turtles??? Then there's the aforementioned talent show. Who could forget the CLASSIC exchange between that kid Noah and the cop (Cop: "where you boys going?" Noah:Campin'). There's the TERRIBLY amusing scene that involved the boys an old lady and her dog. And who could forget the scene where Stevie gets off the school bus, sees his newly restored Huffy sitting in his driveway from a block away, whoops out "MY BIKE!!!!" then runs (in real time) while the camera follows over his shoulder the whole distance. Choice stuff. Oh and did I mention that it's been SIXTEEN YEARS since I have seen it? Generally, my memory sucks about as much as this movie, so the fact that I'm able to recall so much about this thing has to give it at least some kind of merit. I actually tried looking for it on here several years ago and came up with nothing so I was really surprised to see that it was even on IMDb.
Well, it sure has been fun pointlessly trashing a film that maybe 50 people world-wide have ever seen, but I'm afraid I've killed enough time doing so. I think I'm gonna try to go track it down and put it on my zune so I can carry it with me every where I go....
Basically, three kids go camping. That's the plot. Along the way they run into a hateful cop, a drug-dealer in a corvette, some paintgun wielding kid on a cheap little motorscooter, and a s***load of turtles. They build a tee-pee and work out to "YMCA" (yes, that's right). There's also some very awkward and uncomfortable-feeling (for me, anyway) flashback scenes that involve a recently deceased friend of the boys and some kind of talent show with bananas for microphones (Seriously folks, Kools are all I've been smoking today). You know that odd feeling of nostalgia you get when you flip through an old grade-school yearbook? How about that feeling of dread you used to get on Sunday afternoons when you knew that you had to be at school the next morning? Well, that's the feeling I got from these scenes....the FIRST time I watched it. Not sure what that says about the film (or me for that matter) but that's the closest I can come to describing it and I've never had that same feeling come from another movie since. Weird.
Now as you can probably tell by now, if you're still reading at this point, this is not exactly high-quality entertainment. You can tell that the "film makers" did not intend to make a "hey let's laugh at the b-movie" kinda flick. It seems far too sincere for that. Come to think of it, I'm really not sure that they even knew what they were trying to make. But they did succeed in an unintentional comic masterpiece. The dialogue is a hoot and I'd add it to my library for that alone. How about all those turtles??? Then there's the aforementioned talent show. Who could forget the CLASSIC exchange between that kid Noah and the cop (Cop: "where you boys going?" Noah:Campin'). There's the TERRIBLY amusing scene that involved the boys an old lady and her dog. And who could forget the scene where Stevie gets off the school bus, sees his newly restored Huffy sitting in his driveway from a block away, whoops out "MY BIKE!!!!" then runs (in real time) while the camera follows over his shoulder the whole distance. Choice stuff. Oh and did I mention that it's been SIXTEEN YEARS since I have seen it? Generally, my memory sucks about as much as this movie, so the fact that I'm able to recall so much about this thing has to give it at least some kind of merit. I actually tried looking for it on here several years ago and came up with nothing so I was really surprised to see that it was even on IMDb.
Well, it sure has been fun pointlessly trashing a film that maybe 50 people world-wide have ever seen, but I'm afraid I've killed enough time doing so. I think I'm gonna try to go track it down and put it on my zune so I can carry it with me every where I go....