The Abandoned (2006)
1/10
All Hail the King of Boring Movies!
10 January 2008
Warning: Spoilers
I have written over 20 comments by now and had given "one star" only to "Mr and Mrs Smith". The first thing I did after watching this movie was to edit that comment and make it three stars. Because now I know how bad a movie can truly be. And all the comments people made about this movie? Horrorfest? Terrifying? What the f? The makers of this movie, you should be ashamed of yourselves. Because it's obviously you guys who participated in the movie, who wrote all those positive comments. Who else would like ANYTHING about it? Please someone come up in person, saying you actually liked this movie.

Horrorfest? What are you guys smoking? It was with no question the most boring movie I've ever watched. Was I supposed to be scared by the people with white eyes? Was I supposed to be curious by the "haunted house" story which degraded even from the standard boring haunted house stories? I'll do something new in this comment and give you total spoilers, because I must do anything in my power to keep my loved ones away from this movie.

In the beginning we see a Russian family having lunch, and a truck comes in. The father checks it and finds there's a dead woman in the driver's seat and 2 babies near her. 40 years later the girl baby comes back to Russia to claim the house from her real parents. She sees a woman who looks like her except for white eyes. The white eye woman seems to just hang around instead of attacking. Then our hero find her twin brother who also came to the house. And they start seeing their past with the help of a flashlight (must be a magical one). And realize their dad was shot by their mom while he was trying to kill them as babies. And of course, this is enough to invoke the ghosts and haunt the house, cause that's that only house in the world where there was a murder. We find out the brother gets killed by boars (we don't know how or why he couldn't simply escape from a bunch of pigs). And the woman drives her truck to the river and drowns. And the best part of the movie comes, the credits...

I know I have reviewed many bad movies but there's always something in a movie which is worth watching, even to make fun of. But not this one. Just walk away and thank me for saving 1.5 hours of your life. I agree with one thing though; the director is good, as an amateur I can learn many things from him about angles and lighting. He might shoot something good in the future.
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