Review of Dark Floors

Dark Floors (2008)
1/10
Record Low
7 February 2008
Once again we Finns have made it: we tried to reach a star but eventually found ourselves lying in a deep ditch.

Movies are usually categorized in A and B classes, and sometimes even in a C class, if the movie is terribly bad. In case of the Dark Floors movie, a special D class is needed, so that not to violate the C class movies of which many may be quite unique and much better than Dark Floors.

Wednesday night was the World premier in Oulu, Finland. The premier was set in the local ice hockey hall. The movie didn't contain anything novelty, and the story was so stupid and naive that it is not worth describing it here. The band members of a D class (as well, of course) heavy group (called Lordi) with rubber masks and ridiculous costumes, obviously trying to look like monsters, suddenly appeared and disappeared in the movie making it miserably funny.

The movie is made for 15 years old or older people who are mentally 9 years old. Maybe the Lordi fans are that kind of people. This is absolutely a camp movie, so anyone loving camp movies: here you are! The local newspaper Kaleva spent a double page for the movie. This clearly shows that having a World premier of a D class movie is a real happening in a middle-sized town in Northern Finland.

The producer claims (or threatens) that there will follow nine sequels. My guess is that this is the first and will be the last one. And that is good for everyone.
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