Let me start by saying that I like action movies. Sci-fi ones? Even better. The Fifth Element. Aliens. 300. All excellent.
But this? I am still reeling 6 days after being stuck in the cinema for 80 minutes (I left once the credits rolled). It is astonishingly bad. Thank goodness it was a free preview pass.
The premise was promising enough. A boy (Hayden Christensen, who should just give up acting) discovers in a near-death situation that he can teleport to anywhere he wants. So he grows up to become a rich globe trotter (where is the IRS when you need them), courtesy of bank vaults he can enter undetected, "jumping" from one end of the Earth to another, living the high life. Maybe because he was bored (I knew I was bored out of my mind by then), he goes back to his hometown to look for his teenage crush (Rachel Bilson, who is painful to watch). Interestingly, no one bats an eyelid to see him come back from the dead, the girl doesn't question where he has been, and agrees to fly across the globe with him to Rome. There he bumps into a fellow "jumper" (Jamie Bell, the sole glimmer in this abysmal mess), who warns him that there are "Paladins", lead by Samuel L. Jackson (sleepwalking through the role) who are out to get them. Right. Who ARE the "Paladins"? Why the vehemence? No one knows. And by now, I am sure no one cares. Lots of destruction ensues as our hero tries to save the girl and beat the "bad guys". Oh and there is the mom (Diane Lane in a thankless bit part), a Paladin, who is conflicted about having a son who can "jump", and abandoned him to save him. Whatever.
But the thing that clued me in as to how bad a movie I was about to sit through was the voice-over at the beginning. Note to the writers: Narration should ADD to what is on the screen, not TELL US EVERYTHING THAT IS HAPPENING. It reminded me of annoying people in the cinema who comment on every action played out on the screen. You just want to find the remote and hit "Mute".
The ho-hum ending points to future sequels and prequels. It is the only logical reason I can think of to explain why a good director and THREE excellent writers left out so much to make this crap.
Can I vote "0"? No? OK then. "1". For the trailer. Nice job, Doug.
But this? I am still reeling 6 days after being stuck in the cinema for 80 minutes (I left once the credits rolled). It is astonishingly bad. Thank goodness it was a free preview pass.
The premise was promising enough. A boy (Hayden Christensen, who should just give up acting) discovers in a near-death situation that he can teleport to anywhere he wants. So he grows up to become a rich globe trotter (where is the IRS when you need them), courtesy of bank vaults he can enter undetected, "jumping" from one end of the Earth to another, living the high life. Maybe because he was bored (I knew I was bored out of my mind by then), he goes back to his hometown to look for his teenage crush (Rachel Bilson, who is painful to watch). Interestingly, no one bats an eyelid to see him come back from the dead, the girl doesn't question where he has been, and agrees to fly across the globe with him to Rome. There he bumps into a fellow "jumper" (Jamie Bell, the sole glimmer in this abysmal mess), who warns him that there are "Paladins", lead by Samuel L. Jackson (sleepwalking through the role) who are out to get them. Right. Who ARE the "Paladins"? Why the vehemence? No one knows. And by now, I am sure no one cares. Lots of destruction ensues as our hero tries to save the girl and beat the "bad guys". Oh and there is the mom (Diane Lane in a thankless bit part), a Paladin, who is conflicted about having a son who can "jump", and abandoned him to save him. Whatever.
But the thing that clued me in as to how bad a movie I was about to sit through was the voice-over at the beginning. Note to the writers: Narration should ADD to what is on the screen, not TELL US EVERYTHING THAT IS HAPPENING. It reminded me of annoying people in the cinema who comment on every action played out on the screen. You just want to find the remote and hit "Mute".
The ho-hum ending points to future sequels and prequels. It is the only logical reason I can think of to explain why a good director and THREE excellent writers left out so much to make this crap.
Can I vote "0"? No? OK then. "1". For the trailer. Nice job, Doug.