liviomaynard Review of El niño de barro

El niño de barro (2007)

-SPOILERS- Worst kind of stupid film-making... -SPOILERS-

[1/10 · 14 June 2008]

I'll try to review this the best I can and that is by revealing exactly what I was thinking as I watched this movie, meaning that as the movie progressed I couldn't stop imagining the following situation: The producers and the director got together and the director went like: "-Hey, I got this idea for a movie..." "-What is it?" "-It's, like, a thriller... a supernatural thriller!" "-Ok don't tell me it's about a boy who sees dead people!" "-Ahmmmm, no... it's about... a... boy who... sees people before they die?!" "-Oh! So it's like one of those Japanese horror movies? I like that" "-Yes!" "-And this is because something that happened to him when he was only a baby" "-Yes!!!" "-And all this could take place in early 20th century Buenos Aires!" "-Ahm... yeah..." "-And let's call that super-hot Spanish actress Maribel Verdu to play his mother, but listen: her ass gotta show at least once! Remember 'Y Tu Mama Tambien'? That was a hit!" "-O...K..." "-Any other ideas?" "-Yes, I was thinking of this ultra cool inspector that recently lost his wife, but that doesn't REALLY matter, you know... and an abusive stepfather that will have to do something disgusting so that no one will like him... and also we could add some 'disturbing' images like dead children or something to compensate for the lack of atmosphere..." "-What about the killer?" "-Oh that doesn't matter! We'll just think of something... you know." "-OK, so the police will use the boy?" "-Yeah! And you know what's super-cool? THEY ALL BELIEVE HIM!" "-All right. Sounds great! Let's do it!" "-Wait! I still got other ideas like, a flying saucer will pass by the boy one time, and the killer will turn into a demon, and there will be a huge explosion, and..." "-No, no, no, well have to do it some other time, man. I don't think there will be enough money left for hairdressing anyway..." That says it all...