4/10
More "Not" than "Hot"
16 July 2008
Warning: Spoilers
"The Hottie and the Nottie" is one of those hypocritical films that pretends to make the case that beauty is only skin deep - only to turn right around and prove the opposite.

Cribbing at least a portion of its story from "The Taming of the Shrew," the movie stars Paris Hilton as Cristobel, a drop-dead gorgeous "hottie" who has put her own love life on hold until her grotesquely unattractive best friend, June ("the nottie"), can get some guy to go out with her. This is bad news for Nate Cooper, a first class dweeb who's had a major crush on Cristobel ever since the day she sauntered into his class in the first grade and ignited his passion. When he finally finds her again after all these years, he's stuck with having to come up with a guy who'll be willing to date the nottie - that is, if Nate is to have any chance at all of making it with the hottie.

I suspect that "The Hottie and the Nottie" was originally designed as some sort of bizarre vanity project for Ms. Hilton, showcasing just how much better looking she is than the rest of the human race by placing her side by side with the most unattractive woman the filmmakers could possibly come up with. But I believe there's something more insidious at work here, in that, in the end, the movie endorses the very thing it is supposedly arguing against. Through all sorts of unlikely cosmetic alterations, the "nottie" is miraculously transformed into a "hottie," making her at last an acceptable object for love - thereby assuring that all is indeed right with the universe. The movie also labors under the double standard of requiring that the women all be beautiful and sexy while the men are allowed to look as dowdy and disheveled as they please and not be judged for it.

Still, there's probably no point in over-thinking a movie that's as featherweight and insignificant as this one is. And bad as it is, there are a few genuinely funny moments when Nate finds himself competing with an impossibly handsome, blonde, granite-jawed, muscle-bound "doctors without borders" dentist for Cristobel's affections. Nate gets a bit of his own back in these scenes and they are well-played and clever, at least compared to the rest of the movie. Hilton doesn't exactly disgrace herself in the role of the hottie - she actually has a certain innate sweetness that is rather disarming at times - but her acting has yet to go much beyond simple posturing and posing. Joel Moore, Christine Lakin and Johann Urb can't be blamed for the material they've been handed, so we can be generous in our assessment of their performances and simply note that all three have their moments of likability and charm. Here's hoping they have better luck in their future projects.
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