I am a veteran gorehoundmaybe one of those low-brow gorehounds referred to in other reviewsbut even I feel the need to sputter about this travesty, whether or not it's worth the effort.
The sketchy plot involves one of the last men to see the Dahlia, aka Beth Short, alive in 1947. Now 92 years old, he is obsessed with seeing her one more time "before he leaves this planet." Presumably to return to whatever planet he and the other filmmakers came from. To that end, he recruits two hulking psychopaths and an equally deranged teen-aged girl. (If the hulks had half a brain cell between them, they would have offed the old goat and the girl for being downright annoying.) They hope to discover the new Black Dahlia by staging a fake casting call and luring starlets to their hideout. Of course, all but one of them fall short (tee hee) of expectations and are tortured and cut to pieces. Several dumber-than average movie cops investigate; one of them is butchered. No righteous payback for the four villains. THE END.
As I sat through this, I had the feeling that Lommel had watched LAST HOUSE ON DEAD END STREET, then decided to stage a murder similar to that flick's infamous torture killing. Over and over, to the point where seeing people drilled and bisected actually becomes boring. DEAD END STREET, with all its flaws, boasted some good locations, eerie music and atmosphere and a couple of convincing actors. Lommel disregards any sort of quality and instead goes for amateurish gore to the point of tedium, making matters worse by shooting the whole mess on video.
I had no trouble getting through this without hitting the fast forward button. It was entertaining to see which rule of basic film-making Lommel would break next. It was also amusing to watch victims enter the killers' lair, see barred cells and bloodstained tables with shacklesand still not run when the running was good. I cracked up when the psychos went out to scatter pieces of their victims around the city. They do this in broad daylight and nobody notices them, even though the girl dresses like a reject from a School For The Retarded and the butchers wear clothing drenched with blood.
Dark-haired Ivy Elfstrom, it should be noted, is a knockout. Too bad she doesn't actually look like Beth Short, any more than this production resembles a motion picture.
I still can't believe that Ulli Lommel directed this. His second feature, TENDERNESS OF THE WOLVES, was skillfully made and well-acted. THE BOOGEYMAN and THE DEVONSVILLE TERROR weren't masterpieces, but they featured some interesting supernatural elements and were light-years ahead of BLACK DAHLIA. It's also hard to believe that this was directed by a man in his sixties rather than a cackling teenager with a camera, gallons of stage blood and some power tools. Most directors try to break new ground or improve with age but Ulli Lommel seems to be going the way of Jess (LUST FOR FRANKENSTEIN) Franco instead.
Perversely, this flick almost makes me want to rent Lommel's CANNIBAL, ZODIAC KILLER, etc. Just out of curiosity. To see if all his recent movies are equally atrocious.
Meanwhile, both halves of The Black Dahlia must be spinning in their grave.
The sketchy plot involves one of the last men to see the Dahlia, aka Beth Short, alive in 1947. Now 92 years old, he is obsessed with seeing her one more time "before he leaves this planet." Presumably to return to whatever planet he and the other filmmakers came from. To that end, he recruits two hulking psychopaths and an equally deranged teen-aged girl. (If the hulks had half a brain cell between them, they would have offed the old goat and the girl for being downright annoying.) They hope to discover the new Black Dahlia by staging a fake casting call and luring starlets to their hideout. Of course, all but one of them fall short (tee hee) of expectations and are tortured and cut to pieces. Several dumber-than average movie cops investigate; one of them is butchered. No righteous payback for the four villains. THE END.
As I sat through this, I had the feeling that Lommel had watched LAST HOUSE ON DEAD END STREET, then decided to stage a murder similar to that flick's infamous torture killing. Over and over, to the point where seeing people drilled and bisected actually becomes boring. DEAD END STREET, with all its flaws, boasted some good locations, eerie music and atmosphere and a couple of convincing actors. Lommel disregards any sort of quality and instead goes for amateurish gore to the point of tedium, making matters worse by shooting the whole mess on video.
I had no trouble getting through this without hitting the fast forward button. It was entertaining to see which rule of basic film-making Lommel would break next. It was also amusing to watch victims enter the killers' lair, see barred cells and bloodstained tables with shacklesand still not run when the running was good. I cracked up when the psychos went out to scatter pieces of their victims around the city. They do this in broad daylight and nobody notices them, even though the girl dresses like a reject from a School For The Retarded and the butchers wear clothing drenched with blood.
Dark-haired Ivy Elfstrom, it should be noted, is a knockout. Too bad she doesn't actually look like Beth Short, any more than this production resembles a motion picture.
I still can't believe that Ulli Lommel directed this. His second feature, TENDERNESS OF THE WOLVES, was skillfully made and well-acted. THE BOOGEYMAN and THE DEVONSVILLE TERROR weren't masterpieces, but they featured some interesting supernatural elements and were light-years ahead of BLACK DAHLIA. It's also hard to believe that this was directed by a man in his sixties rather than a cackling teenager with a camera, gallons of stage blood and some power tools. Most directors try to break new ground or improve with age but Ulli Lommel seems to be going the way of Jess (LUST FOR FRANKENSTEIN) Franco instead.
Perversely, this flick almost makes me want to rent Lommel's CANNIBAL, ZODIAC KILLER, etc. Just out of curiosity. To see if all his recent movies are equally atrocious.
Meanwhile, both halves of The Black Dahlia must be spinning in their grave.