"Who do I think I am? I am a Socialist actor in search of Irish ancestry."
23 August 2009
Warning: Spoilers
"I've never cared about my ancestors, but now that TV is involved I'll be more than happy to investigate it." And pretend that you're emotionally involved in what happened to some people you never met, 150 years ago.

Having seen more than a dozen episodes, I've noticed two things about the human subjects:

1) 80% of them hope to find Irish ancestry in their family tree. Whether it be Jeremy Irons or John Hurt - or any other self-deluded, gullible thespian - the quest for negating one's own "englishness" through the process of digging out even a minute trace of Irishness: this takes precedence over everything else.

Hurt was absolutely crushed (well... hurt) when he eventually found out that there wasn't an iota of Irish blood in his small Elephant Man body. He had spent his life boasting about an alleged connection to Irish nobility, as if being connected to any branch of any in-bred species of royalty were something to brag about. But it turned out to be a fantasy tale. Now John has to go through the remainder of his life knowing that he is "merely" English... What the hell is wrong with being English? Is it "unhip" due to the fact that the English were always more economically advanced than the Welsh, the Scots, and the Irish? It's an actors' thing, isn't it... To side with the "underdog". Childish.

Jeremy Irons could also barely hide his disappointment. He had even stated he "felt he was Irish" simply because he "enjoy(s) spending time" in the Irish countryside! What unique logic. You really can't argue with a thespian's deduction skills. Jeremy "felt" Irish hence he must be one. If only I could live the existence of a clueless actor; there must be some primordial joy in there somewhere in spending a lifetime of not having to ever think hard about anything.

2) 90% of the human subjects hope to find dirt-poor factory workers with a history of Socialist/Communist activism (incl. street protests and the like). Nothing gets those dim-witted, attention-seeking, barely educated acteurs more excited than the prospect of cementing their left-wing leanings into the minds of the viewer - as if we don't already know (or as if we care) that it is Marx whom they worship above all other awful icons.

There was a middle-aged soap-opera star who was disappointed when she found out that one of her ancestors dug himself out of poverty by building a successful business! "Oh, no, he wasn't dirt poor all his life. That's no good... How am I to remain a Labour voter if one of my relatives was so well off? It's a disaster!" That sort of thing...

Or are some of these actors simply afraid that BBC will fire them unless they prove their Marxiworthiness?

One of the best episodes was the Colin Jackson one. He visits Jamaica and finds out that he is an unusual mix of black, white, and even Indian ancestry. He even gets his DNA analyzed, defining his racial heritage down to the last percentage point. (7% Indian, for example.) As many episodes with non-white celebrities, the episode was also highly interesting for its details relating to slavery.

Another top episode was the one with Jeremy Clarkson. He belongs to a very rare breed of British actors and/or TV personalities who aren't left-wing clowns. His sarcastic comments about rabid environmentalists and their blatant folly were right up there with the best of "Penn & Teller".
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