My Take: Despite some enjoyable special effects, this is a rather unspectacular adventure that takes itself too seriously.
I've seen 10,000 B.C. several times on TV, but not because I thought it was a great brainless yet enjoyable adventure, but because I usually fell asleep during the midsection and wanted to catch up on what I missed, and for a movie that gambles with a premise that might not work (a "caveman epic" doesn't really spell big bucks in the B.O.) that's not a good sign. Writer/director Roland Emmerich doesn't exactly have a talent for writing convincing characters or directing good actors, but he redeems himself by making some ludicrously enjoyable set pieces and excitement, which sadly what his 2008 caveman epic lacks.
Emmerich, who directed INDEPENDENCE DAY and THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW, has created arguably his most disappointing effort since 1998's GODZILLA, committing almost exactly the same mistake. Once you get past the guilty pleasure of seeing a herd of stampeding Mammoths or chases with giant man-eating ostriches (more on that later), 10,000 B.C. lacks the very crucial ingredient: thrills. Instead of a ludicrously enjoyable ride with some tongue-in-cheek moments and campy self-awareness, 10,000 B.C. takes itself too seriously with its story of the "first hero" D'Leh (Steven Strait), who braves the odds to rescue his beloved Evolet (Camilla Belle), who is probably the most beautiful of her kind since she has discovered eye-liner(!), from the "four-legged demons" who have abducted her, along with other members of his tribe. The odds being a flock of deadly giant "terror birds", stampeding mammoths, a saber-toothed tiger (which, sadly, isn't put to good use here) and quite possibly the lamest villains in history. With a cheesy narration offered by Omar Shariff, this movie just calls for some good old-fashioned kitsch!
Admittedly, Emmerich can still spin some enjoyable guilty pleasure along the way, including the aforementioned "terror birds" sequence which, despite being a bit goofy, is actually rather enjoyable. But so many other parts fall flat since they play it all with a straight face. A little humor would have been good. For a film that could have been a good afternoon spent of brainless fun, it's mostly just a bone-headed epic-wannabe with some long plodding scenes that slow down the movie and prevents it from become exciting. Plus, the heroes and the villains of the story are just plain boring! How can the story of "the first hero" be so important if it just ain't thrilling? Considering that my expectations were pretty low for 10,000 B.C. (due to some really bad reviews), it did often go beyond my expectations thanks to some good special effects (no matter how hokey that sabertooth was, they were pretty good). But expecting an occasionally entertaining no-brainer, it's a quite a letdown. Ugh!
Rating: ** out of 5.
I've seen 10,000 B.C. several times on TV, but not because I thought it was a great brainless yet enjoyable adventure, but because I usually fell asleep during the midsection and wanted to catch up on what I missed, and for a movie that gambles with a premise that might not work (a "caveman epic" doesn't really spell big bucks in the B.O.) that's not a good sign. Writer/director Roland Emmerich doesn't exactly have a talent for writing convincing characters or directing good actors, but he redeems himself by making some ludicrously enjoyable set pieces and excitement, which sadly what his 2008 caveman epic lacks.
Emmerich, who directed INDEPENDENCE DAY and THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW, has created arguably his most disappointing effort since 1998's GODZILLA, committing almost exactly the same mistake. Once you get past the guilty pleasure of seeing a herd of stampeding Mammoths or chases with giant man-eating ostriches (more on that later), 10,000 B.C. lacks the very crucial ingredient: thrills. Instead of a ludicrously enjoyable ride with some tongue-in-cheek moments and campy self-awareness, 10,000 B.C. takes itself too seriously with its story of the "first hero" D'Leh (Steven Strait), who braves the odds to rescue his beloved Evolet (Camilla Belle), who is probably the most beautiful of her kind since she has discovered eye-liner(!), from the "four-legged demons" who have abducted her, along with other members of his tribe. The odds being a flock of deadly giant "terror birds", stampeding mammoths, a saber-toothed tiger (which, sadly, isn't put to good use here) and quite possibly the lamest villains in history. With a cheesy narration offered by Omar Shariff, this movie just calls for some good old-fashioned kitsch!
Admittedly, Emmerich can still spin some enjoyable guilty pleasure along the way, including the aforementioned "terror birds" sequence which, despite being a bit goofy, is actually rather enjoyable. But so many other parts fall flat since they play it all with a straight face. A little humor would have been good. For a film that could have been a good afternoon spent of brainless fun, it's mostly just a bone-headed epic-wannabe with some long plodding scenes that slow down the movie and prevents it from become exciting. Plus, the heroes and the villains of the story are just plain boring! How can the story of "the first hero" be so important if it just ain't thrilling? Considering that my expectations were pretty low for 10,000 B.C. (due to some really bad reviews), it did often go beyond my expectations thanks to some good special effects (no matter how hokey that sabertooth was, they were pretty good). But expecting an occasionally entertaining no-brainer, it's a quite a letdown. Ugh!
Rating: ** out of 5.