Review of Valkyrie

Valkyrie (2008)
1/10
History trivialized by dummkopfs
18 February 2010
Incompetent to the point of making your stomach turn.

Based on real events and people. Really? Who, exactly? Any reference to a conspiracy of Hitler's inside circle to assassinate him is purely accidental. This was an event that could have had immense repercussions on the course of human history in the decades that followed. This movie treats the whole thing like some high school teen angst dramedy.

Cruise looks like a little kid trying on his Daddy's old war uniform, and whining when he finds it's too big. Forget any German accent, or anything else to occupy the role of a Nazi officer. Let alone someone plotting a murder, or fearing for his own life. He talks like he just hung ten on some like totally rad gnarly curls at Malibu, dude. And he sports that eye patch like a he's going trick-or-treating for the first time. Other actors look like they're going to laugh at him at any moment. And they play Nazis--with British accents? There's just no serious tone, when you see Der Cruiser rushing around in jack-boots like he needs to go to the Herr's room. The guy playing Hitler looks more like Moe Howard of the Three Stooges. Not badly scripted; there was potential. The director obviously needed to do more research about these individuals; his lack of knowledge and professionalism trivializes this very serious subject matter. As for Tom, he just makes a fool of himself, once again.
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