That's the answer phone greeting of Bruce Willis' bitter and troubled river cop Tom Hardy. Well I'm telling you all that this is John Chard and you all should go as far away from this movie at the opening credits. It's truly awful and probably stands up as a candidate for biggest collective waste of actors in the 1990s.
Directed by Rowdy Herrington (Road House), who also co-wrote it with Marty Kaplan (The Distinguished Gentleman), it's not unfair to say that expectation isn't set too high with that collaboration. But the cast on the other hand does suggest we are in for a popcorn thriller of some note. Oh how wrong that suggestion proves to be. Although Bruce Willis was at the time on a run of poorly received film's {Pulp Fiction and a career invigoration was a year away}, he still had two Die Hard movies behind him and a cult favourite in The Last Boy Scout. He was still an action star of some credibility and a draw card. Joining him in the cast are Dennis Farina, Brion James, Tom Sizemore, Andre Braugher, John Mahoney and Tom Atkins. Oh and Sarah Jessica Parker (the sarcasm is intentional). What transpires with this collection of thesps is just over 100 minutes of cliché riddled rubbish devoid of suspense and tension.
It's a pity the film is so bad because an action/cop film set on and around a river should have made for a refreshing change. Lots of boaty action mixing with a serial killer plot seemed like a good idea, but they didn't get a decent writer or director in did they? From the off all eventualities are sign posted. The killer is obvious, and this in spite of myself trying desperately not to notice the obviousness of it. I actually thought to myself that surely the makers wouldn't take the viewers for being that stupid? Even the staple requirement of a red herring jumps up and hits you on the head with a dull thud. Parker is awful, tho in fairness her character serves only to be a token bit of totty lining up to do all the same things every other badly written female cop has done in prior movies. Then there is the performance of the actor playing the villain for the film's finale. So laughable you will be forgiven for checking the DVD case to see if you picked up a Laurel & Hardy movie by mistake. The one saving grace for action junkies is a tidily constructed car chase sequence in the first quarter, but from there on in it goes downhill in quality. For the big key section set in and around a log cabin, you may find yourself stifling the laughter; such is the bad quality of the action and execution of the scenes. This is a film containing men who before this film had been in Die Hard, Midnight Run, True Romance, Red Heat, Beverly Hills Cop II & Lethal Weapon. Making the biggest crime of all involving this movie? That not one of those guys stood up during the rushes and said this is a bad action movie, lets start again. 3/10
Directed by Rowdy Herrington (Road House), who also co-wrote it with Marty Kaplan (The Distinguished Gentleman), it's not unfair to say that expectation isn't set too high with that collaboration. But the cast on the other hand does suggest we are in for a popcorn thriller of some note. Oh how wrong that suggestion proves to be. Although Bruce Willis was at the time on a run of poorly received film's {Pulp Fiction and a career invigoration was a year away}, he still had two Die Hard movies behind him and a cult favourite in The Last Boy Scout. He was still an action star of some credibility and a draw card. Joining him in the cast are Dennis Farina, Brion James, Tom Sizemore, Andre Braugher, John Mahoney and Tom Atkins. Oh and Sarah Jessica Parker (the sarcasm is intentional). What transpires with this collection of thesps is just over 100 minutes of cliché riddled rubbish devoid of suspense and tension.
It's a pity the film is so bad because an action/cop film set on and around a river should have made for a refreshing change. Lots of boaty action mixing with a serial killer plot seemed like a good idea, but they didn't get a decent writer or director in did they? From the off all eventualities are sign posted. The killer is obvious, and this in spite of myself trying desperately not to notice the obviousness of it. I actually thought to myself that surely the makers wouldn't take the viewers for being that stupid? Even the staple requirement of a red herring jumps up and hits you on the head with a dull thud. Parker is awful, tho in fairness her character serves only to be a token bit of totty lining up to do all the same things every other badly written female cop has done in prior movies. Then there is the performance of the actor playing the villain for the film's finale. So laughable you will be forgiven for checking the DVD case to see if you picked up a Laurel & Hardy movie by mistake. The one saving grace for action junkies is a tidily constructed car chase sequence in the first quarter, but from there on in it goes downhill in quality. For the big key section set in and around a log cabin, you may find yourself stifling the laughter; such is the bad quality of the action and execution of the scenes. This is a film containing men who before this film had been in Die Hard, Midnight Run, True Romance, Red Heat, Beverly Hills Cop II & Lethal Weapon. Making the biggest crime of all involving this movie? That not one of those guys stood up during the rushes and said this is a bad action movie, lets start again. 3/10