I mean, it's impossible to review this movie without making the review sound just as bad as the movie itself. But why am I stating the obvious? Of course it's bad. Anyone whose aware of the collective works of the notoriously untalented Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer know this is bad. Anyone who doesn't know need not apply. I can't believe I'm saying this but there are more substantial train wrecks than this horrible, disgusting, unfunny, idiotic, pathetic, shameless, inconsistent, insulting, asinine, foolish, oafish, and insignificant (I need to look up more words in the dictionary to describe this movie) waste of time and money (but since I mercifully saw it on TV, at least I'm not guilty at wasting any cash).
It's probably much more fun to write a review about this piece of crap by imagining how Friedberg and Seltzer came up with this incredible idea.
Friedberg: "Hey! I just saw 300 man! It was awesome! But you know what's more awesome? Why don't we make a comedy about it? I mean come on! These guys are wearing like, what are those, skirts? Are they gay or something? Why don't we make a movie where these Spartan dudes are gay! People will dig that right? I mean they dig anything 300 these days!"
Seltzer: "Yeah man, that will be, like, awesome too! I mean I was thinking of like doing a spoof on pop culture icons like the guys in American Idol or Ryan Seacrest or Britney or Paris Hilton or even those guys in Stomp the Yard and Step Up. And then maybe we can riff on TV commercials as well. But I guess we'll go with your idea. After all, my ideas suck! I didn't even like it!"
Friedberg: "Are you f#&@ing kidding? That's brilliant! Tell you what, we'll combine our ideas together to make a masterpiece. Yeah! This will be big! I'm having an epiphany right know! Wait a minute... Epipihany, what does that mean anyway? Never mind, so here it is: We set this in the same time as 300. That was like, before the first World War, right? So these 300 dudes are like gay right? So we'll just remake the whole story of 300 only make it funny. Yeah, and we'll put in those pop culture references of yours and that will just be a gas! I mean, that Leonidas guy pushes Britney, the judges of Idol, Ryan Seacrest down the Pit of Doom! And then there would be, like, a hip-hop showdown between Spartans and Persians. Yeah, people will laugh so wild that this might just be a classic like AIRPLANE! Yeah, this is gonna be big!"
Seltzer: "Nice one man! I mean your like f#&@ing Spielberg man! Only Spielberg never thought of having that guy from Borat playing Xerxes or have Rocky, Ghost Rider, that dancing penguin from Happy Feet, and Carmen Electra in one movie! By the way, Spielberg did this movie with this guy Bay about Transformers. I was thinking, why not put in a giant robot? People will laugh like crazy, man! I mean, we don't have the budget, but hey, we made that classic EPIC MOVIE without having to spend lots of cash. And while were at it, there's got to be like product placements here so people will know we threw in everything on this movie. Nothing is safe from our riffing. Man I love working with you!
Friedberg: "Yeah man! Me too man! I mean, we're like that guy Hitchcock and that guy Jim Stewart. Or that guy Spielberg and Lucas. We make one hell of a team. I mean, who needs the critics? I don't even read their reviews! I don't even read! Now, let's make this baby a reality!"
Setlzer: "Way ahead of you man! Nicole Parker's already on board and some guy Sean Maguire too. Wait, 'some guy Sean Macguire'? Hey that rhymes! So anyway, lets do this! People are, like, waiting for our next movie! This is like freakin' STAR WARS EPISODE I all over again! Maybe this time, we'll have guys camping in front of the theaters just to be first in line to get tickets! Man, I love Hollywood!"
Friedberg: "Oh by the way man, one last thing. What if the movie sucked?"
Rating: 0 out of 5.
It's probably much more fun to write a review about this piece of crap by imagining how Friedberg and Seltzer came up with this incredible idea.
Friedberg: "Hey! I just saw 300 man! It was awesome! But you know what's more awesome? Why don't we make a comedy about it? I mean come on! These guys are wearing like, what are those, skirts? Are they gay or something? Why don't we make a movie where these Spartan dudes are gay! People will dig that right? I mean they dig anything 300 these days!"
Seltzer: "Yeah man, that will be, like, awesome too! I mean I was thinking of like doing a spoof on pop culture icons like the guys in American Idol or Ryan Seacrest or Britney or Paris Hilton or even those guys in Stomp the Yard and Step Up. And then maybe we can riff on TV commercials as well. But I guess we'll go with your idea. After all, my ideas suck! I didn't even like it!"
Friedberg: "Are you f#&@ing kidding? That's brilliant! Tell you what, we'll combine our ideas together to make a masterpiece. Yeah! This will be big! I'm having an epiphany right know! Wait a minute... Epipihany, what does that mean anyway? Never mind, so here it is: We set this in the same time as 300. That was like, before the first World War, right? So these 300 dudes are like gay right? So we'll just remake the whole story of 300 only make it funny. Yeah, and we'll put in those pop culture references of yours and that will just be a gas! I mean, that Leonidas guy pushes Britney, the judges of Idol, Ryan Seacrest down the Pit of Doom! And then there would be, like, a hip-hop showdown between Spartans and Persians. Yeah, people will laugh so wild that this might just be a classic like AIRPLANE! Yeah, this is gonna be big!"
Seltzer: "Nice one man! I mean your like f#&@ing Spielberg man! Only Spielberg never thought of having that guy from Borat playing Xerxes or have Rocky, Ghost Rider, that dancing penguin from Happy Feet, and Carmen Electra in one movie! By the way, Spielberg did this movie with this guy Bay about Transformers. I was thinking, why not put in a giant robot? People will laugh like crazy, man! I mean, we don't have the budget, but hey, we made that classic EPIC MOVIE without having to spend lots of cash. And while were at it, there's got to be like product placements here so people will know we threw in everything on this movie. Nothing is safe from our riffing. Man I love working with you!
Friedberg: "Yeah man! Me too man! I mean, we're like that guy Hitchcock and that guy Jim Stewart. Or that guy Spielberg and Lucas. We make one hell of a team. I mean, who needs the critics? I don't even read their reviews! I don't even read! Now, let's make this baby a reality!"
Setlzer: "Way ahead of you man! Nicole Parker's already on board and some guy Sean Maguire too. Wait, 'some guy Sean Macguire'? Hey that rhymes! So anyway, lets do this! People are, like, waiting for our next movie! This is like freakin' STAR WARS EPISODE I all over again! Maybe this time, we'll have guys camping in front of the theaters just to be first in line to get tickets! Man, I love Hollywood!"
Friedberg: "Oh by the way man, one last thing. What if the movie sucked?"
Rating: 0 out of 5.