5/10
The textbook definition of "You'll like it if you like this sort of thing".
4 October 2010
Warning: Spoilers
This movie is like a precursor to the HBO series "Sex and the City", except it's less cutesy, less melodramatic and not at all obsessed with puns. If you'd like to see what Carrie, Samantha, Miranda and Charlotte looked and sounded like about a step earlier on the evolutionary scale, you'll find it in Live Nude Girls.

Less a story and more an extended monologue on women, sex and relationships that's been split between 6 different characters, this film is about the night some old friends have a bachelorette party sleepover. I don't know if a group of women all pushing up against 40 getting together for a slumber party was considered normal in Los Angeles in 1995 but it's the nail this story is hung on, so you've just got to go with it. Georgina (Lora Zane) is a confused bisexual who's thinking of switching back to men. Jill (Dana Delaney) is the raunchy one with the happy marriage that's never really talked about. Rachel (Laila Robins) is Jill's uptight sister who's staring down spinsterhood. Marcy (Cynthia Stevenson) is the awkward one who ends up banging her house painter, who then starts stalking her. Jaime (Kim Cattral) is the neurotic B-movie actress who's freaking out about her impending third wedding. Chris (Olivia D'Abo) is Georgina's current girlfriend and one of the least convincing lesbians in cinema history. A cross-dressing Benny Hill would have been more believable.

The entire film is essentially these 6 women sitting around and talking about sex, with occasional cutaways for flashbacks and fantasies, with undercurrents of Georgina's sexual indecision, Jill and Rachel sniping at each other, Jaime's overwrought case of cold feet and a couple of secrets that, of course, end up blurted out before the night is over. There's also a decent amount of female nudity, an embarrassingly bad gay stereotype and a weirdly sympathetic view of men for this sort of film. Nothing in this story ever gets resolved or figured out or fixed. The movie just starts and these women yap away until it's over.

If you want to watch women yapping about sex and relationships, you'll probably enjoy Live Nude Girls. If watching "Sex and the City" feels like someone is trying to suck your brain out through your nose, you probably won't like this movie. There's nothing wrong or bad about it, but it's entirely one of those things you either really like or you really don't. You're going to have to make that call yourself.
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