For Curtis and Bronson Fans
6 November 2010
You Can't Win 'Em All (1970)

** (out of 4)

Mildly entertaining action film has former WW1 soldiers traveling to Turkey where they are hired by Osman Bey to help guard a gold shipment but after countless double crossings and twists, the soldiers begin to realize that there might be something more at stake than just gold. It's important to note that the soldiers are played by Tony Curtis and Charles Bronson and those names are big enough to make you want to keep watching even when the film itself starts to unravel and come apart. The movie gets off to a great start as Curtis is stranded at sea in a sinking boat and gets picked up by captain Bronson but before he can get on the two have a nice exchange of words. The first twenty-minutes of the movie are fast, sharp and contain some very funny moments but all of this stuff pretty much goes away once the center story kicks in. I never really could get too involved with the story in Turkey simply because it really didn't feel all that real and I also thought it was rather poorly written. I think there's way too much story trying to go on and there's really nothing behind it because the main goal is just to get to the next action scene. As far as the action goes, we get a couple excellent sequences. The opening bar fight is pretty good but the real highlight comes towards the middle of the film when the train carrying the gold comes under attack. After viewing the movie I had to do a Google search to see how many stuntmen got killed in this sequence but apparently it was none. The physical stunts are extremely graphic and there are a few scenes where horses are tripping off one another and there's one instant that will really stick out because it seems the human riding it gets crushed during all the mayhem. There's another big action piece at the end, which results in another twist in the story that actually works pretty good. The main draw of this movie is going to be seeing Curtis and Bronson together and they actually do a pretty good job. I thought that laid back, smart ass attitude of Curtis worked perfectly well with Bronson stone cold approach. The two are simply so different that when they mix it up they just come off very funny. The banter between the men in the bar at the start of the film is certainly one of the highlights. YOU CAN'T WIN 'EM ALL is far from a masterpiece and in reality it's not even a good movie. With that said, fans of the two stars will probably want to check it out but others will probably not find too much to keep them watching from start to finish.
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