Ever since Dabangg rocked the screens, Bollywood has been racing to come up with the next pure Masala entertainer. Tees Maar Khan promised all this and then some. Alas, the wait just got longer...
Before I start on TMK, let me assure you I am a big mas ala movie freak – Wanted, Dabangg, Houseful, Singh is King, you name it I loved them all. Gosh I even liked Chandni Chowk to China! And didn't have too many problems with No Problem either... Tees Maar Khan however is not half as good as even the last two films mentioned. Which is why unabashedly promoting this film by linking it with Dabangg records makes me sad. And angry. More so, as it comes from a director whose last two films (Om Shanti Om and Main Hoon Na) were superb.
The problem with Tees Maar Khan is... well, everything! Let me start with the storyline. A master thief who is smarter than everyone get his life's biggest challenge, of robbing a moving train. Not just some small treasure, but the whole train. So he makes a plan by getting a movie star and charading a movie shoot at a village next to the railway line, so that the villagers will stop the train and provide the manpower to take away the loot. Original? Well so it would seem in case you haven't watched the 1966 Peter Sellers' After The Fox. Which, by the way, was among Sellers' forgettable ventures, and is not even pure Hollywood – rather an Italian film. Anyways, our film makers picked up this DVD one fine day and decided to Bollywoodize it, with some item numbers and a mas ala touch.
Could have been a cracker, but for that you need a great screenplay and rock solid direction, both of which are sorely missing out here. While watching the film, it seems the director went directly from the basic story-script to the dialogue writer asking for some memorable witty punchlines . You see, we're making a mas ala movie here, and Wanted worked, maybe only because of the dialogues... or is it? So "Ek Bar Maine commitment kar Di..." becomes something like "Tees Maar Khan Ki Zabaan aur..." uff whatever! Then there is the heavily promoted line of "Tawaif Ki Lut ti Izzat Bachana aur Tees Maar Khan Ko Pakadna..." which could really have been a nice memorable line. If only it did not come every 5 minutes in the movie.
Now for the acting part. Or whatever passes for it. If you thought SRK hams, wait till you see Akki in this one. It is so over the top that a few minutes into the film you feel whether Farah Khan directed the movie, or was she busy tending to her triplets at home. Never expected Katrina to 'act' so it is not a let down at all. But Akshaye Khanna was fine. Not a great performance, which we expect of him, but given everyone else around this definitely deserved an Oscar!!! ;-) However, both he and Kat do not have much footage, and neither do the others. Why not? Read on...
Okay so whats good? Need I tell anyone that Shiela Ki Jawani is one cool item song? Or that Wallah re Wallah has Salman dancing in pure Munni Badnaam Hui style. But what is even better is that if you are going to the theatre for these two, then you might as well come out in the first 45 minutes, once these songs are over. Yes, the director does not make us wait too long. And do watch out for the Sallu-Kat chemistry in the second song.
Another saving grace is the editing. The poor screenplay and pathetic performances largely are subdued by crisp and fast editing which make you not realise the absurd crap you're watching. At least not till the last half hour of the movie when the editor probably fell asleep. Cant blame him, except for the fact that this guy is also credited with the story and screenplay too (Yeah they probably didn't realise too many people would have seen a 1966 Italian film dubbed into English) Considering the film is barely above 2 hours, cut out another half hour of songs, credits, etc you are left with an hour of complete nonsense partly saved by the editor. Although this chopping off large portions of footage probably consisted of everyone in the cast except for Akki's scene. Which mean unbridled loud acting – even by his standards.
The inspiration of keeping the film short probably came from Dabangg. Good thought, but crisp editing is like a Tadka. Out here the Daal is missing. And rotten.
Before I start on TMK, let me assure you I am a big mas ala movie freak – Wanted, Dabangg, Houseful, Singh is King, you name it I loved them all. Gosh I even liked Chandni Chowk to China! And didn't have too many problems with No Problem either... Tees Maar Khan however is not half as good as even the last two films mentioned. Which is why unabashedly promoting this film by linking it with Dabangg records makes me sad. And angry. More so, as it comes from a director whose last two films (Om Shanti Om and Main Hoon Na) were superb.
The problem with Tees Maar Khan is... well, everything! Let me start with the storyline. A master thief who is smarter than everyone get his life's biggest challenge, of robbing a moving train. Not just some small treasure, but the whole train. So he makes a plan by getting a movie star and charading a movie shoot at a village next to the railway line, so that the villagers will stop the train and provide the manpower to take away the loot. Original? Well so it would seem in case you haven't watched the 1966 Peter Sellers' After The Fox. Which, by the way, was among Sellers' forgettable ventures, and is not even pure Hollywood – rather an Italian film. Anyways, our film makers picked up this DVD one fine day and decided to Bollywoodize it, with some item numbers and a mas ala touch.
Could have been a cracker, but for that you need a great screenplay and rock solid direction, both of which are sorely missing out here. While watching the film, it seems the director went directly from the basic story-script to the dialogue writer asking for some memorable witty punchlines . You see, we're making a mas ala movie here, and Wanted worked, maybe only because of the dialogues... or is it? So "Ek Bar Maine commitment kar Di..." becomes something like "Tees Maar Khan Ki Zabaan aur..." uff whatever! Then there is the heavily promoted line of "Tawaif Ki Lut ti Izzat Bachana aur Tees Maar Khan Ko Pakadna..." which could really have been a nice memorable line. If only it did not come every 5 minutes in the movie.
Now for the acting part. Or whatever passes for it. If you thought SRK hams, wait till you see Akki in this one. It is so over the top that a few minutes into the film you feel whether Farah Khan directed the movie, or was she busy tending to her triplets at home. Never expected Katrina to 'act' so it is not a let down at all. But Akshaye Khanna was fine. Not a great performance, which we expect of him, but given everyone else around this definitely deserved an Oscar!!! ;-) However, both he and Kat do not have much footage, and neither do the others. Why not? Read on...
Okay so whats good? Need I tell anyone that Shiela Ki Jawani is one cool item song? Or that Wallah re Wallah has Salman dancing in pure Munni Badnaam Hui style. But what is even better is that if you are going to the theatre for these two, then you might as well come out in the first 45 minutes, once these songs are over. Yes, the director does not make us wait too long. And do watch out for the Sallu-Kat chemistry in the second song.
Another saving grace is the editing. The poor screenplay and pathetic performances largely are subdued by crisp and fast editing which make you not realise the absurd crap you're watching. At least not till the last half hour of the movie when the editor probably fell asleep. Cant blame him, except for the fact that this guy is also credited with the story and screenplay too (Yeah they probably didn't realise too many people would have seen a 1966 Italian film dubbed into English) Considering the film is barely above 2 hours, cut out another half hour of songs, credits, etc you are left with an hour of complete nonsense partly saved by the editor. Although this chopping off large portions of footage probably consisted of everyone in the cast except for Akki's scene. Which mean unbridled loud acting – even by his standards.
The inspiration of keeping the film short probably came from Dabangg. Good thought, but crisp editing is like a Tadka. Out here the Daal is missing. And rotten.