Review of Fast Five

Fast Five (2011)
2/10
Among the worst I've ever seen
13 May 2011
I love heist movies. I love action movies.

This film was utterly boring and unbelievable from start to finish. It defies the laws of logic, storytelling, and physics at every turn and it just goes on and on and on. And so predictable--especially if you've seen Oceans 11.

I almost walked out during the "climactic" final chase. Such a snoozefest.

The dialogue and stunts are laughable--and the mayhem and destruction in the last 30 minutes are numbing and unbearable. You keep looking, asking "Where are all the bodies? There must be hundreds or thousands of people killed during this chase." But nope, you don't see any bodies because there aren't any. No people on the streets of Rio during broad daylight even though in every previous shot the streets were jammed with pedestrians.

My god this film was boring. It's the first film I've seen in Imax and it'll probably be the last-- seems pretty clear that's just a marketing scam to get people to see movies that would otherwise tank.

I'm sure you'll ignore my review and see it anyway. That's cool, but bring a good book.
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