Review of Hidden 3D

Hidden 3D (2011)
3/10
Highly Forgettable
21 May 2011
Warning: Spoilers
There should be no surprises here. The film begins in a manner that suggests a tired retreading of very familiar horror ground: man inherits disgraced mother's monastery-cum-clinic in the mountains, he and a group of friends venture out there and are met by a vaguely creepy guide; whilst poking around we get some jump scares and synth stabs suggesting we should be scared...oh, and there's no cell phone reception either, surprisingly...then our band of friends discover a secret passage leading down into the bowels of the building...etc.

With that being the opening 30 minutes, we're not expecting much we haven't seen before, but, we perhaps tell ourselves, there lays ahead some creepy ghoul-kids, some gory killings and a few good old-fashioned scares - SOMETHING to give a horror fan some cheap entertainment! As you may have guessed, this film ends up giving us nothing. The creepy kids are under-utilised and usually only half-seen in shadow. The 'gore' scenes are few and far between and barely anything is shown anyway; they are far from gory. Then comes the 'twist' ending which, even if you hadn't seen it coming, feels wholly predictable and unimaginative. It succeeded only in eliciting a long groan from this viewer. Whatsmore, the CGI 'fireflies' swarming about the place are never explained and, as the other reviewer noted, most probably serve only the film's 3D aspect.

On the plus side...well, there's not much. One of the lead actors is familiar from Dario Argento's "Third Mother". Incidentally, the Argento connection goes deeper. One of the co-writers (Coralina Cataldi-Tassoni) was in "Opera", "Phantom of the Opera" and "Third Mother" as well as the Argento produced "Demoni 2". One could unkindly jibe that her involvement in the 'disappointing' half of Argento's career brings commensurate mediocrity here.

In my opinion, this was a complete dud. Only the young or easily pleased will find enjoyment here. If you consider yourself to be a horror fan and have sat through the schlockiest B-grade fare for a few smile-raising beheadings and impailings and Fulci eye gougings etc., this film will only underwhelm - AT BEST!
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