charlytully Review of Street Boss

Street Boss (2009)

Crane company guy brings down the Michigan Film Industry

[5/10 · 18 September 2011]

The Michigan film industry, which had produced such classics as Christopher Reeves' SOMEWHERE IN TIME, not to mention Otto Preminger's ANATOMY OF A MURDER (if you count the Upper Peninsula as part of Michigan, which I guess you have to if you consider Toledo part of Ohio) was destroyed nearly single-handed by Saginaw construction company scion Mark Bierlein (a middle-aged man with NO previous film credits), who fancied himself the next Sylvester Stallone and Kevin Costner rolled into one when he appointed himself producer, screenwriter, and balding schlub star of his own private spin on THE UNTOUCHABLES. (Besides pocketing beau coup bucks in state film credits, Bierlein was able to double dip through crane rental deductions.) Unlike ROCKY, Bierlein's FBI agent Phil Kerby does not beat the meat in the local walk-in freezer. Nor does he down five raw eggs in a glass of OJ. In lieu of these pursuits, he murders unarmed suspects, tosses wrongly suspected desk sergeants all over their office furniture, and combats Detroit's toughest Mafia boss with nothing more than a cold shower. The lone accomplishment of Jennifer Granholm, Michigan's eight-year Canadian-native governor, was to make her adopted U.S. foothold into Toronto South, in terms of tax-credit-supported film-making. But as soon as incoming local boy guv Rick Snyder saw the screener for STREET BOSS, he immediately curtailed such tax credits. "I'm just a bean-counting nerd," he told me at our barbershop the other day, "but even I know that starring a guy who looks like old Bierlein just so his family business can scam some tax dollars stinks to high heaven. What's that site you blog on . . . yes, IMDb, I bet this dog show will be lucky to get 500 ratings, and if it averages even 4 of 10, I'm a monkey's uncle. I've seen wooden Indians more animated than Mark Bierlein." I guess my guv 'bout said it all.