...expect to die!
When I was younger, if you made a movie and had a good distributor, or a least a decent v-6, your movie would go to theaters. Before my time, there were A-movies and B-movies. There were no movies for TV. A movie like "Time Walker", had it been made two years ago, as opposed to the 1980's, would have gone straight to DVD or up on Netflix.
Such, however, is the case "Expect to Die", a movie on DVD a friend of mine lent to me and, not too surprisingly, did not want back. I won't go into the poor quality of the movie, which has been discussed at length, but I would like to hold up to the light a few choice lines.
1. "Expect to Die". What an interesting title. Can you name a single person reading this that does not expect to die someday? "The Princess Bride"'s Inigo Montoya at least had the sense to say, "Prepare to die", which would imply a hurried deadline. "Expect to die" is much like saying, "You're gonna breath. Real soon."
2, As the bad guy Dr. Vincent MacIntyre absconds with Sharon Blake, she yells out from the back of the car she is thrown into, "I'm not going anywhere with you, Psycho!" I love this line. What is the point of telling this man that he's nuts? Will he stop the car look back with sad recognition and say, "your language is crude, but you are right! I'm going to stop everything. Thank you. Thank you for a cold splash in the face of reality!"
*SPOILER* 3. While in the virtual reality world of "Expect to Die" Sharon, who is inexplicably dressed as a belly dancer is trying to coach her husband Justin Blake, on how to defeat the game. For whatever reason, she is now calling him "Player". When they reach the mutual knowledge that they are both trapped, she says, "I'm trapped, too. And I don't...think..I like it!". Ladies and gentlemen, this woman is chained, after being kidnapped, in an unfamiliar environment with the threat of death looming over her and her husband. Where does "THINK" enter in to this equation!? Has being chained up and being threatened worked out happily for this woman? "I don't think I like it...not like the Cydonia Virtual Reality dungeon. Now THAT was a dungeon...good catering, custom-built chains and the maniac who ran it, WOW!"
Now, granted, this isn't Oscar-worthy territory, but the acting, which is not great gets even worse in the effects-laden bits, probably because it would have been more expensive to reshoot, so the line delivery more than likely suffered.
Do pass this movie up. If you want virtual reality, see "Tron: Legacy". If you want good martial arts fighting, watch, "Mad Monkey Kung Fu". If you have papers flying all over your house, buy this movie, don't unwrap it, and place it on top of the pile of papers.
When I was younger, if you made a movie and had a good distributor, or a least a decent v-6, your movie would go to theaters. Before my time, there were A-movies and B-movies. There were no movies for TV. A movie like "Time Walker", had it been made two years ago, as opposed to the 1980's, would have gone straight to DVD or up on Netflix.
Such, however, is the case "Expect to Die", a movie on DVD a friend of mine lent to me and, not too surprisingly, did not want back. I won't go into the poor quality of the movie, which has been discussed at length, but I would like to hold up to the light a few choice lines.
1. "Expect to Die". What an interesting title. Can you name a single person reading this that does not expect to die someday? "The Princess Bride"'s Inigo Montoya at least had the sense to say, "Prepare to die", which would imply a hurried deadline. "Expect to die" is much like saying, "You're gonna breath. Real soon."
2, As the bad guy Dr. Vincent MacIntyre absconds with Sharon Blake, she yells out from the back of the car she is thrown into, "I'm not going anywhere with you, Psycho!" I love this line. What is the point of telling this man that he's nuts? Will he stop the car look back with sad recognition and say, "your language is crude, but you are right! I'm going to stop everything. Thank you. Thank you for a cold splash in the face of reality!"
*SPOILER* 3. While in the virtual reality world of "Expect to Die" Sharon, who is inexplicably dressed as a belly dancer is trying to coach her husband Justin Blake, on how to defeat the game. For whatever reason, she is now calling him "Player". When they reach the mutual knowledge that they are both trapped, she says, "I'm trapped, too. And I don't...think..I like it!". Ladies and gentlemen, this woman is chained, after being kidnapped, in an unfamiliar environment with the threat of death looming over her and her husband. Where does "THINK" enter in to this equation!? Has being chained up and being threatened worked out happily for this woman? "I don't think I like it...not like the Cydonia Virtual Reality dungeon. Now THAT was a dungeon...good catering, custom-built chains and the maniac who ran it, WOW!"
Now, granted, this isn't Oscar-worthy territory, but the acting, which is not great gets even worse in the effects-laden bits, probably because it would have been more expensive to reshoot, so the line delivery more than likely suffered.
Do pass this movie up. If you want virtual reality, see "Tron: Legacy". If you want good martial arts fighting, watch, "Mad Monkey Kung Fu". If you have papers flying all over your house, buy this movie, don't unwrap it, and place it on top of the pile of papers.