Perhaps a lobotomized mollusk could endure this paint-by-the numbers masterpiece. Even Salma Hayek in a skimpy bikini and lingerie can't save this contrived nonsense. However, I must admit that Woody Harrelson playing Stanley Lloyd, a doofus FBI agent is worth a chuckle. If Stanley is based on a real agent, it is easy to understand why the FBI bungled the 9/11 attacks against the Twin Towers in Manhattan and the Pentagon.
In reality, this seems to be a lame sequel to the revised version of the The Thomas Crown Affair, starring Pierce Brosnan and Rene Russo. Except, this time, Pierce has switched from stealing art to jewels.
There are so many holes in the script that you could drive convoys through them. For example, Agent Stan is suspended by the FBI after allowing Max to steal a rare diamond that was in a case carried by Stan. But, although suspended from the Bureau, Stan magically appears in Nassau, Bahamas, with his gun, badge, identification card and six suitcases of high-tech surveillance equipment. And, he walks right through Bahamian Customs without anyone questioning.
This was a big-budget movie (estimated at $58 million) which was initially released by New Line Cinema during 12 November 2004. It never made money. After two years the worldwide gross was a meager $61.3 million which means New Line only received approximately $30 million.
It is difficult to believe that Pierce, Salma, Woody and Don Cheadle read the pathetic script by Paul Zbyszewski (who during 2010 became co-executive producer of the Hawaii Five-O TV series). Apparently, director Brett Ratner simply offered big money and they gladly conspired to swindle the public. Obviously, New Line and Brett Ratner thought Pierce, Salma, Woody and Don in a movie was a slam dunk.
The love-story subplot between Pierce and Salma is pathetic and the pseudo love scenes are lame. But, they are magnificent compared to the bi-racial love story between Woody and Naomie Harris, who plays Sophie, a local Nassau cop. During their big love scene she receives a call on her cell phone and pushes Woody away. He begs for five minutes. "Can you do it in two minutes," she asks. He says "yes" and begins humping while they are still wearing underwear.
I won't bother explaining the idiotic ending other than to say it is appropriate for a Saturday morning kid's show.
In reality, this seems to be a lame sequel to the revised version of the The Thomas Crown Affair, starring Pierce Brosnan and Rene Russo. Except, this time, Pierce has switched from stealing art to jewels.
There are so many holes in the script that you could drive convoys through them. For example, Agent Stan is suspended by the FBI after allowing Max to steal a rare diamond that was in a case carried by Stan. But, although suspended from the Bureau, Stan magically appears in Nassau, Bahamas, with his gun, badge, identification card and six suitcases of high-tech surveillance equipment. And, he walks right through Bahamian Customs without anyone questioning.
This was a big-budget movie (estimated at $58 million) which was initially released by New Line Cinema during 12 November 2004. It never made money. After two years the worldwide gross was a meager $61.3 million which means New Line only received approximately $30 million.
It is difficult to believe that Pierce, Salma, Woody and Don Cheadle read the pathetic script by Paul Zbyszewski (who during 2010 became co-executive producer of the Hawaii Five-O TV series). Apparently, director Brett Ratner simply offered big money and they gladly conspired to swindle the public. Obviously, New Line and Brett Ratner thought Pierce, Salma, Woody and Don in a movie was a slam dunk.
The love-story subplot between Pierce and Salma is pathetic and the pseudo love scenes are lame. But, they are magnificent compared to the bi-racial love story between Woody and Naomie Harris, who plays Sophie, a local Nassau cop. During their big love scene she receives a call on her cell phone and pushes Woody away. He begs for five minutes. "Can you do it in two minutes," she asks. He says "yes" and begins humping while they are still wearing underwear.
I won't bother explaining the idiotic ending other than to say it is appropriate for a Saturday morning kid's show.