2/10
Down where it belongs
28 July 2012
Renowned designer John Carradine's deep sea diving expedition goes awry when the bell containing four intrepid adventurers (Clarke, Coates, Noonan and Windsor) capsizes into a prehistoric labyrinth of caverns deeper than anything in living memory. The four weary travellers discover an elderly man (Bernard with a ridiculous stick-on beard), allegedly a shipwrecked sailor whose leering gaze at the first women he's seen in fourteen years gets a little too creepy for comfort. They set about finding a way out, but discover an inland volcano is blocking their path to freedom.

Some classic corny dialogue includes my personal favourite between Coates and Noonan which goes something like "I was hoping we could help each other out" to which Coates replies sarcastically "you don't need any help and neither do I, especially while there are two men about". What is it they're talking about exactly? There's also the penultimate moment where one of the divers runs out of air "how long's he been without air?" "Only a few minutes" "I've got some coffee" "There, he's coming around now". Tremendous stuff.

Carradine is professional and Clarke stoic to the last, while former "Lois Lane" Coates perfects the woman scorned. George Skaff is a recognisable face (mainly from the 70's) and then you can't easily dismiss Maurice Bernard making faces as the old man from the cave. Throw in a half-dozen miniatures, an octopus versus shark contest, a great montage scene and a Nescafe moment and you've got a certified, 63 minute turkey.
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