Review of Cloud Atlas

Cloud Atlas (2012)
1/10
Atlas? No...AT LAST... THANK GOD it was over!
8 November 2012
Warning: Spoilers
The first 30 minutes of the movie were confusing. At about 60 minutes is got a bit interesting and I was looking forward to seeing how it would end. At 90 minutes I wanted it to wrap up. At 2 hours I REALLY wanted to leave. By 2.5 hours my legs were restless, and the other couple we were there with was also obviously giddy to depart. After 3 hours when it FINALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLY ended, I was THRILLED -- not with the movie but to get out of there.

Over the years Tom Hanks has made one good decision after another. This movie was not another good decision for him or Halle Berry. I understood the symbolism of how the character's decisions impacted prior and future reincarnations. This was obvious rather quickly. Jesus Christ famously told his important thoughts 3 times... but 6 times was at least 3 times (and 60 minutes) too many! The highlight of this dreadful movie was the character escaping from the mental institution for the aged in about the middle of the film. His "soilent green is people" comment foretold the conclusion and supposed climax of the film. Yes, we not AT ALL surprisingly learned the genetically engineered race of nubile Asian sex kitten waitresses were raised as mere protein to be fed to later generations of entertainers/waitresses once they passed their 12-year adult shelf life. I GOT IT! We ALL got it.., how did anyone not see this was coming? But, I did not need to hear her give the same speech over and over throughout the film from different angles and through different media. BTW, I also found the make-up rather disconcerting, and the odd Cajun-esque/Gaelic brogue of the future more than annoying, and also rather unnecessary.

BUT, AT LAST... the movie was over to the groan of the audience. Frankly, I can't understand how so many people seem to like this terrible film! We go to the movie theater every Wednesday, and in a year of mediocre and bad movies, this monstrosity is likely the worst! I rate it a 1 on this scale... but 10 rotten tomatoes on another.
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