You would think after major bombs and failures named "Vampires Suck" and "Meet The Spartans" that film companies would no longer be trying to create movie parodies. I mean
did we not learn anything from "Stan Helsing," "Disaster Movie" or "Epic Movie?" I mean, we need something lower than a quarter of a star out of five stars to show just how bad these movies are. To paraphrase Taylor Swift, ripping off characters from much more successful movies and trying to fit a story around them never-ever-ever-ever-ever-ever-ever works! The question is, why even keep trying to recapture the success of "Airplane," "The Naked Gun" or "Scary Movie?" Those movies had talent, gifted writers and filmmakers who knew how to make a decent comedy. Here's the answer: Hollywood doesn't give a damn. They hire the worst actors, most unqualified filmmakers, the least talented writers, dump a truck load of money, hold hostage one popular actor and then play chances something resembling a comedy might be born, and it never is. Why? Because these are not comedies - they're wastes of time and money. Much like Congress and the CEOs who ruined this country, motion picture industries have the liberty and the freedom to flush millions of dollars down the toilet on really horrendous movies ("Chip-Wrecked," "John Carter Of Mars
") then make the money back from their insurance and make a trickle of money back on weak rentals and purchases based on bad judgment. "30 Nights of Paranormal Activity" suffers tragically from all the same problems from other badly conceived ideas. It's not a movie; it's a string of horrible sketches with really bad actors and a few good ones trying to stay in the industry with a lot of bathroom, gay and sophomoric humor sprinkled throughout, an over abundance of gay and sexual humor and there's no one named Wayans in the entire cast. My daughter playing dress-up from her mother's closet is a million times more funnier and a heck of a lot cuter, and she's actually allowed to pass gas. Worst yet: whoever writes the cover description of the movie on the DVD has obviously not seen the movie. "Scare yourself silly," "Scream with laughter," and "Hilarious spoof" do not describe "30 Nights of Paranormal Activity." Much better phrases would be "Scream with anger," "Stare confusingly" and "Waste of your time." Believe it or not, at one time, movie parodies were actually funny, but the people making them now don't even seem to be trying to put any effort or actual jokes in them. "30 Days of Paranormal Activity" is not much of a movie. If anything, it is just an endless and pitiful barrage of jumbled up people, references and stuff and doesn't make any sense at all. If the filmmakers and actors can't put any effort into making the movie, why should we even bother watching it? What tiny shred of plot there is involves a family moving into a supposedly haunted house; unfortunately, there are so many black-outs and non-sequential scenes that the movie never really gets started much less starts moving at all. Why couldn't they done just a straight parody of "Paranormal Activity?" There are way too many unimportant characters in this, not to mention two stoners posing as freeloading ghost-hunters, a really weak Abe Lincoln wanna-be, an over-the top masculine lesbian, a fat Bane wannabe and an incredibly weak and forced Donald Trump take among others. I really feel bad for French Stewart and Danny Woodburn; they were so funny and enjoyable on "Third Rock" and "Seinfeld" that to see him suffer with taking roles like this must really be insulting for actors of their talent and caliber. The so-called comedy is mostly juvenile with hardly any real effort put into it (dumb dialogue, pointless scenes and a tasteless slew of drug, alcohol and sexual references). There are jokes that go no where, scenes that drag on too long and too much time wasted on others whereas opportunities for some real humor go unrealized. The only fairly humorous moments are when the home owner tosses the filter back into the pool (ignoring the pool boy in the process), when the wife slides all the way to the market down the hill and when the pool boy imitates the dance from "Black Swan" and even that scene goes five minutes too long. Will someone please explain to me what the reason to make this movie is? You could have flushed three million dollars into the sewer and made a bigger point than this waste of time. Bottom line: I love comedy, and I love parodies, but until someone watches "Naked Gun" or "Airplane" to realize what they're doing wrong, I don't think I'm ever going to see a decent movie parody unless I'm allowed to film and make it myself.
