Robot Jox (1989)
5/10
You're making my beer curdle....
10 July 2013
Warning: Spoilers
50 years after a nuclear war, the superpowers handle disputes in a different way. Giant robots fight one-on-one battles in official matches, each piloted by a man inside, known as robot jockeys.

The contest for possession of Alaska will be fought by two of the best. Achilles for the USA, Opposing him is a Alexander, a ruthless Russian adversary who has killed his previous nine American opponents.

With a traitor feeding the Russians secret weapons information and new, genetically- engineered jox looking to take his place, Achilles faces obstacles at every turn in the hardest battle of his life.....

Like Arena, and Crash and Burn, the movie is cheaply made, badly acted, and choc full of bad effects. But its like a really bad accident, you cannot keep your eyes off the screen.

The film is set in four locations, Achilles Room, the local bar, the holding wing for the robot, and the fighting arena. It ventures off to space once where the Russian can fire a rocket, and that's it.

Its fun when the robots fight, as the actors don't really say anything, but other than that, its pretty pants. Almost like a really poor relation to Rocky IV, in its layout, its novelty soon wears off after a while, leaving you with a film that has nothing new to offer you.

But it is the best film ever featuring a traitor in a Stetson jumping from a height and still screaming long after he landed and died....
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